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AUTHORIZATION:OUT:KNOK:B3:44:A0:FF
PROXYBOT PP.680 ENGAGED


Hola, muchachos!

I'm Pepe the ProxyBot, fully-authorized digital assistant to High Programmer Knok-U-OUT-6, limitless dispenser of good advice, and your sexy sequential guide through the events which led up to, occurred during, and followed the crashtacular spectaclysm that was the Toothpaste_Disaster. Aye, caramba! Knok-U is very busy with his ongoing research for the main body of the report but he's put me to work on the existing entries to date, sorting through it all to provide him with some series-of-events notes to help him keep it all straight-- at least, as straight as it can be, considering the sheer volume of confusing and sometimes contradictory data you seem to be providing, hombres!

A few notes about this timeline:

So here's how I think it happened!


Speculative Ongoing Subjective Timeline of Events

Version: 1.3.1

50 to 150 YEARS AGO

20 to 50 YEARS AGO

10 to 20 YEARS AGO

6 TO 8 YEARS AGO

5 YEARS AGO

4 YEARS AGO

3 YEARS AGO

2 YEARS AGO

BETWEEN 18 AND 24 MONTHS AGO

16 to 18 MONTHS AGO

13 to 15 MONTHS AGO

12 MONTHS / 1 YEAR AGO

11 MONTHS AGO

10 MONTHS AGO / WEEKS AND DAYS BEFORE DISASTER

DAY OF THE DISASTER

LAST HOURS BEFORE DISASTER

PEAK DISASTER CONFUSION

AFTERMATH: FIRST HOURS AND DAYCYCLES AFTER

AFTERMATH: 9 MONTHS AGO / UP TO 1 MONTH AFTER PEAK

2 to 3 MONTHS AFTER PEAK

APPROX. 4 MONTHS AGO

"RECENTLY"


As far as I know, I've tackled and solved (a mi propia satisfacción) the placement of everything that seems to connect together. Until such time as this report is finally locked, sealed, and delivered to Friend Computer, however, I welcome suggestions, corrections, reminders, flowers, and the like.

For now, this is Pepe the ProxyBot saying, adios, amigos!

PROXYBOT PP.680 DISENGAGED


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2013-06-13 14:00