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Commie Mutant Traitors

The enemy of our Friend Computer. Our enemy. They are the trouble that troubleshooters shoot. The scourge of alpha complex. The evil and destitute enemies of freedom, dental hygene, and loyal service to the computer. They threaten all citizens of our beloved complex, demeaning our benevolent leader through their very existence. There might be a traitor secretly lurking deep inside anyclone you meet. Even they may not fully know it. They are a terrible and intolerable threat to The_Children.

They are the reason for everything that is wrong in the Complex. They cause the need for Anger_Management. Alpha scientists have discovered that it is actually Tiny Commie Mutant Traitors attacking our teeth to cause tooth decay, thus also expending The Computer's precious resources in creating Decay_Preventatives.

They must be eliminated or reported immediately: As per the computer's recent publication Laws_of_Alpha_Complex_ed._39/B.3.9, everyclone must by law always be alert and on the lookout for CMTs at all times - even while sleeping - or he will be by definition himself a Traitor.

I must also note that to fully document this term I feel it necessary to mention the existence of the well known Old Reckoning band of the same name. The songs they were most popular for escapes me at the moment, but I expect the general theme was to warn the world of the impending threat.

-- Toothy-U

Refs: The_Children, Laws_of_Alpha_Complex_ed._39/B.3.9, Anger_Management, Decay_Preventatives


Your lack of fear & anger while describing our mortal enemy makes me wonder about your loyalty. How can any upright citizen describe such a threat without fire, brimstone, and spittle flying from his mouth? If I had made this entry, everyone that read it would be inspired to go out and kill a potential Commie RIGHT NOW.

-- Drake-U-LAH-1

I have no mouth, yet I must yawn.

-- Jan-U-ARY-31

According to the most recent statistics from CPU and IntSec's joint investigative committees, 1 in 20 citizens is a Commie plant. Disturbing news indeed. Although I'm sure this board is free from this statistical distribution.

-- Servs-U

That's old news, Servs. What I want to know is how many citizens you have to kill to have a 95% of eliminating at least one Commie.

-- Drake-U-LAH-1

At last count, the committee is now down to 19 members. This indicates that we have successfully purged all Commie plants from the board. Congratulations!

-- Jan-U

You say that as though one of the commies didn't off one of the loyal citizens... I'm only sharing my suspicions with Friend Computer right now, at least until I finish the research for my entry, Jan-U, but I have my eyes on you...

-- Omega-U-MAN-5


2013-06-13 13:52