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Originally designed by some overzealous hack at COLgate_BioTech, Bile Suppressant is but one of the countless Anger_Management tools available to Happiness Officers everywhere, courtesy of your local PLC Service Firm. Its design specifications explain that it was meant to limit subversion by modulating the moods of volatile but otherwise productive Citizens, leaving them tranquil, calm and serene. It worked after a fashion, as it left those who used it too sick and weak to disrupt the stable workings of Alpha Complex. It is often disbursed in quantity to Troubleshooter Morale Officers, who use it to settle down ornery team members.

Bile Suppressant comes in a variety of tasty flavors, including mint, sausage, anchovy, and prune. Use as directed. Not intended for external use. Taking Bile Suppressant as a dietary aid is not recommended. May cause permanent liver damage if ingested more than once per monthcycle. Some users may experience occasional side effects, such as fever, dizziness, nausea, vomiting, diabetes, jaundice, bone liquefaction, or death. Combining Bile Suppressant with other medical supplements or dentifrices may result in Spontaneous_Mutation_Syndrome. Should you experience Spontaneous_Mutation_Syndrome, please report to the nearest Termination Center for assessment and possible reassignment.

-- Jan-U-ARY-31

Refs: COLgate_BioTech, Spontaneous_Mutation_Syndrome


That explains a lot about the COL_gate_incident. Who was the idiot that decided to contain the entire supply of Bile Suppressant in a glass tank?

-- Drake-U-LAH-1

If I knew what made those R&D geniuses tick, well, there'd be quite a few LoBOTomizers assigned to COL sector, let me tell you. But the COLgate dust-up was chump change as Bile Suppressant fiascos go. The role that BS played in the Toothpaste Disaster... we all warned OmniPipeTechServ not to run Bile Suppressant and Toothpasty Supplement #6 down the same conduit! Just thinking about it gives me the chills... either that, or my cerebrospinal fluid heater's on the fritz again.

-- Jan-U

Wait a moment, here...just where did OmniPipeTechServ obtain any Toothpasty Supplement #6, let alone sufficient quantities to be transferring it via major conduits? It hadn't even left the testing stages when research was shut down. I think we all know the potential hazards of an R&D biochem experiment even they think isn't ready to see the light of day. If they had access to the (prototype) recipe, I think we've got a Commie conspiracy of epic proportions on our hands, and OmniPipeTechServ is clearly involved. Who's in charge of those maniacs?

-- Servs-U

Well, at the time, OmniPipeTechServ's chief operations officer was Comm-I-DUP-3. But my people have gone over the relevant requisition forms and found an interesting inconsistency. It looks like someone in COL sector originally asked for a shipment of Toothpasty_Supplement_#5, but we have a Dentifrice Allocation Document #55E/Q2, filled out by Frame-R-UPP-4, requesting delivery of Toothpasty Supplement #6 instead. Could be user error, could be Communists; I'll leave that to IntSec to decide.

-- Jan-U

The author of this segment is remiss in failing to mention that more than half of the "tasty flavors" in which Bile Suppressant is manufactured are not on the list of Thirty-one_Official_Flavors. While preliminary research seems to indicate that this has been duly authorized due to Bile Suppressant's primary purpose (Anger_Management, rather than baseline consumption), checking cross-references has revealed inconsistencies in the paperwork filed to request this status. Further investigation is underway.


While I believe that Bile Suppressant was a half-baked idea at best, I think it's clear that Err-U is jumping at shadows here. Certainly the flavors in question aren't on the list of Thirty-one_Official_Flavors. They are, however, on the list of Approximately Two Hundred and Thirty-Seven Semi-Official Flavors Under Consideration. Really, Err-U, if you can't take the time to read through all the appendices, attachments, codicils, references, and other fine print, then are you really qualified for ULTRAVIOLET clearance?

-- Jan-U

I am well aquainted with the flavor regulation codes. Regulation #93/C-10 of the article in question dictates that all baseline consumption foodstuffs must be created only in the Thirty-one_Official_Flavors until one of a number of qualifying events occur, including (but not limited to) certain consumption rates, explicit authorization through the appropriate paperwork, or alternate categorization as something other than (or in addition to) a baseline foodstuff. Only at that point are alternative flavor lists (including the Semi-Official Flavors) permitted.

Aside from its filed categorization as an Anger_Management tool, Bile Suppressant met none of the qualifying events - or, if it did, the proper paperwork was not filed to record it. Nor did it fall under the bailiwick of any Regulations other than #93/C-10 (#882/D-alpha was rendered moot yearcycles ago). The paperwork for alternative categorization was filed, but there are some inconsistencies - as you would know, had you bothered to fully read my previous statement. These inconsistencies may not be relevant, but they may be - unless you know something about the matter that you're hiding from the rest of us.

Needless to say, you bring yourself under suspicion with these baseless charges. I merely pointed out a datum that you ought to have referenced in your initial report, for thorougness' sake; your response indicates either a certain cavalier attitude...or something to hide.


The filed categorization as an Anger_Management tool overrides Regulation #93/C-10. Unfortunate, I know, and I can't imagine how HPD&MC rammed that change through, but there you are. You really need to pay attention to the Annual Daycycle Memo Report. Though in this case you'd have to check the archive; that ruling got passed while you were still YELLOW clearance.

I was pushing paperwork before you were decanted. Stop trying to teach your grandclone to suck zygotes.

-- Jan-U

Look, you sanctimonious fool, you've made my point for me. The whole point is that the filed categorization you so smugly reference has irregularities. In fact, at this point it has been confirmed that they were deliberate and treasonous irregularities.

You may have been around longer than I have, but I've done five times as much relevant research. Go push some more papers.


Temper, temper! You know, your protests might carry more weight if not for the fact that you're responsible for the current formula for SmileTime_Mood_Enhancement_Serum_(with_Tartar_Control). You're raking in, what, 3% royalties on all sales? You're just trying to sabotage the competition. I smell conflict of interest!

-- Jan-U

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2013-06-13 13:52