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Open Sores Community

I scarcely know where to begin concerning this treasonous group.

We've already covered how PIC 2.x was stolen by them (ref Fire-and-Forgetpicks), and they have access to ID CA/RDs (ref Information_Distortion), but it is my belief that they are connected to the First Church of Christ, Computer Programmer, and that they may have committed Unspeakable_Treason.

In fact, with the assistance of my predecessors, I have discovered that they were the ones responsible for my troubles with the Magic_Hate_Ball, having altered portions of its programming with the original prototype CyberHack_Programming_Helmet (this "community" was, no doubt, part of the group attacking Syntelligent_Systems).

Worse, somehow the assistant at my private clone tank facility had somehow been reassigned. It seems that someclone (I'm looking at you two, Drake-U and Jan-U), had managed to get a food vat operator instead of a clone tank operator. As if it wasn't bad enough to have my predecessors killed off in numerical order1, I had the vat operator working a clone tank, who had just been reassigned back from Reactor Shielding Duty. This traiterous vat operator managed to infect my perfect genome with damn near every treasonous mutation2. Naturally, my predecessors all registered their mutations and used them against the Magic_Hate_Ball during their brief lifespans, but it was to no avail, as the MHB was designed to resist every known mutation.

Fortunately, even though inflicted with treasonous mutations, my predecessors all retained strict loyalty to Friend Computer3 and eventually, sometime around Omega-U-MAN-1330, they managed to recapture the CyberHack_Programming_Helmet, which was being used by some commie4 to reprogram the Magic_Hate_Ball to attack me.

Of course, my predecessors might never have managed to get the helmet if it weren't for a very odd INFRARED clone hadn't interfered. This clone appeared to have gotten a defective scrubbot program5 instead of his memories in his last memomax transfer. Even so, though he was even more mindless than most INFRAREDs, when the ball rolled his way, he mumbled "Rogox" and proceeded to give the ball quite a thrashing with only his bare hands.

During this confusion, Omega-U-MAN-1336 managed to grab away the CyberHack and forced the MHB to squish the murderous clone who had gone from laughing while my predecessors were being terminated, to attacking the vat operator and trying to sabotage my private clone tanks.

To make the rest of the story shorter, suffice it to say that both the vat operator and the traitor were squished by the MHB, #1336 managed to restore my genetic profile from an offsite backup thus removing all traces of mutation introduced by the vat operator, replaced my now-defective clone tanks, subdued the MHB, cloned me (#1337), decanted several extras, and terminated himself rather than continue as a reggie.

Since then, I have reprogrammed the MHB and integrated it into my Commie_Catcher_[TM] system and rehired my former, loyal clone tank assistant, as well as adding several nasty "surprises" for the next clone who tries to off me with something like this. Thanks to the number of times I have sacrificed myself in the service of Friend Computer this monthcycle, Friend Computer has even declared me the most loyal clone this monthcycle!

Oh, and if you want more information about these Open Sores people, go get it yourself. Having lost 1,000+ clones and still having managed to get this much research on them is impressive enough, I think. Besides, I'm quite sure that they were the ones trying to kill my clone family off here. Moreover, the story of my intrepid subjugation of the MHB into PLC's personal guardian6 / New & Improved Commie_Catcher_[TM] component is far more important than drivel about yet another group of treasonous folks out to kill every ULTRAVIOLET in the whole complex, and I have the forms to prove it!

  1. This was due to an interesting tidbit of code reused by those Open Sores folks: "kill $clone for {$clone = 5; $clones_alive == TRUE; ++$clone}" It's a wonder the manage to code at all when they reuse every little bit of code instead of reinventing the square wheel each time, and learning from it. (1)

  2. Except Machine Empathy, of course. (2)

  3. Well, Omega-U-MAN-666 did develop a rather over-zealous bit of pyromania with his mutation, but he incinerated himself before doing anything more treasonous than that. (3)

  4. Omega-U-MAN-1336 was a bit over-zealous in terminating him, so we did not get that clone's name. (4)

  5. As further evidenced by later reports that he attacked someclone named "Vi-LPH" some time later. I suspect that it was either because said clone was very dirty, or he thought that the clone's name was actually "filth" ... either way, this fellow had no mind left to speak of. (5)

  6. It even processes forms! (6)

Refs: Unspeakable_Treason, Syntelligent_Systems

-- Omega-U-MAN-1337


So, you're saying that you consider your pet project to be more important than the report that Friend Computer has directly instructed you to file?


-- Jan-U-ARY-31

Indeed. Now why did you reassign me a food vat operator as my personal clone tank operator when you knew I had such important work to be doing? It was you and Drake-U who signed the form, I'm quite sure that at least the signatures were not forged, and I didn't have anything to do with authorizing any such thing, so you can't pin it on me somehow...

Besides, Friend Computer understands, and that should be enough for anyclone.

-- Omega-U-MAN-1337

I not only find most of this story hard to believe, Omega-U, but I'm absolutely fascinated by how much of your ulterior agenda is given away by your choice of fictitious claims.

-- Knok-U-OUT-6

Agreed. I haven't signed any forms reassigning anyone in MAN sector; why would I? Even if I had any intentions of harming a fellow High Programmer, which I do not, I surely wouldn't be so blatant about it. I'm a PLC executive, for Friend Computer's sake, just like you; I know how these things work. This is clearly a frame, although I'm not yet certain as to whether someone else is trying to pin this on myself and Drake-U, or if you yourself are doing this out of some indelible stain of malice that has managed to perpetuate itself through over a thousand separate decantations.

In any event, clone tanks are extremely complex and finicky devices, as evidenced by the 307 separate tests that must be administered to any clone before they can be authorized to use one. A vat technician would be totally incapable of cloning you; even if they managed to do it once by random chance, it's a statistical impossibility that they could clone you 1331 times. If your story is correct, the clone in question was a clone tank operator pretending to be a vat operator. The constant introduction of mutations into your clone line would point to Psion involvement.

-- Jan-U

Am I the only one who notes that Omega-U is here clearly stating that he has taken the original prototype CyberHack_Programming_Helmet, a device known to seize control of its wearer for unknown purposes, and that he used (read: put it on) it? Combine that fact with the astute doubts cast by my colleagues...

-- Servs-U

I was too busy determining why he would have 1000+ clones ready for rapid deployment. A coup attempt against the other 826 High Programmers of AC, perhaps? He obviously deserves further scrutiny. I'm sure Jan-U will reveal all in her investigation of his investigation into her.

-- Drake-U-LAH-2

I find the attempts to blame this affair on an incompetent vat operator - who was killed during the incident - highly dubious. Your suggestion that the operative - with no cloning tank skills whatsoever - was creating radioactively mutated clones by the thousand is even more dubious, and stinks of cover-up, and more importantly, treason. I think it more likely that the operative was very skilled indeed, and - more so - an IntSec agent set to the task of investigating your activities and suspicions of your own possession of treasonous mutant powers. It seems more likely that the radioactive element was intended to purge mutation, rather than enhance it - utilising controlled isotopic mutagenic RNA blockers to render mutant cells inert. Certain magnetically stabilised isotopes of Krypton DiFlouride have this anti-mutative effect. I note, Omega-U, that you seemed terribly keen to bury the existence of Krypton_Difluoride_Welding_Rods under the obfuscative weight of some hair-brained PLC-generated pseudo-name that would no doubt have consigned the value of the rods, and the material they're made from, into the archives of obscurity. The actions of a worried mutant traitor.

-- Costin-U-MOR-8

Servs-U: The rediscovery is of the CHPH is merely one of the many elements of this story that I'd find to be shockingly actionable (Unspeakable_Treason indeed...) if it wasn't so unlikely. The Helmet-- missing these many months-- suddenly turns back up quite conveniently, somehow associated with the MHB, which itself brought to a halt by a barehanded INFRARED? If the CHPH really had been there, you can bet the Easter_Bunny_Device would have shown up, in hot pursuit. And then "integrating" the MHB into the CC(tm)? The whole thing smells like something off the bottom of the Vats, from the frame attempt against Jan-U and Drake-U right up to the ridiculous clone number-- I'm sure I'm not the only one who's noticed it is actually a code, using the "1337 5P34K" encoding seen on many of the more treacherously encrypted documents this commission-- a code which Omega-U himself first brought fully to our attention.

-- Knok-U

Oh come now. We all know (or should know) that radioactive INFRAREDs who are improperly shielded can cause clone tank malfunctions. Jan-U alone should know what a clone vat can do in the wrong hands... As for the CyberHack, I obviously was smart enough to update its software to the proper revision before using it. And it is by no means lost on me how the INFRARED was reassigned so conveniently... I suspect that our resident IntSec agent here played a hand in that. As for the forms, just how do they bear valid signatures? Do you routinely sign forms without reading them, Jan-U?

As for my clone number, it's not my fault the MHB was stopped just then. What did you want me to do? Waste some of Friend Computer's valuable clones just to avoid a coincidental number of deaths? Such waste is treasonous as you should well know.

As for these Open Sores people, I have further discovered that they're all hard-core Communists (no surprises here), and that they are trying to "liberate" bots from their Asimov circuits (funny, Jan-U, weren't you the one who managed to get us the defective Asimov?). Frankly, Knok-U's adeptness at picking up on their code (even when the code doesn't exist!) tells me that we might have a member of this community on our panel! More's the pity that my predecessor's holovid of Jan-U is likely to be destroyed, altered and badly misinterpreted by the time she finishes her investigation into the investigation of herself...

-- Omega-U-MAN-1337

Amazing! Hundreds of clones later, and Omega-U still persists in his psychotic grudge!

Firstly, the only IntSec agent on this panel is Mesh-U-GNA-1. I doubt he'll be pleased that you're impugning his good name. Secondly, as I've said, I have not reassigned any vat technicians to MAN sector. And the fact that your original accusation was broadsided at myself and Drake-U clearly indicates that you don't actually know who's responsible, unless you're responsible for it yourself; in either case, you're just randomly flinging allegations of treason in order to see what sticks. None of us believe you, and I am quite confident that Friend Computer doesn't believe you either.

In any case, your failure to adequately supply Friend Computer with data on the Open Sores Community, in direct violation of your mandate under Executive Order #083Y-N0W as issued under section #2B, paragraph 10,470 of the Laws_of_Alpha_Complex_ed._39/B.3.9, constitutes treason. If you are lucky, Friend Computer will remit your trial and punishment until after the conclusion of this report.

Have a nice daycycle.

-- Jan-U

You are, of course, lax as always with the paperwork. If you had checked, I already have a DebateIsFutileResolutionForm on file, declaring that I have done absolutely nothing treasonous here. Granted, it could have turned out badly if my clone family had been infected with Machine Empathy by the treasonous technician, but I was not and so Friend Computer allowed me to file the form with only my own approval, not requiring it to be seconded, due to all the hardships a loyal clone like myself had to endure in this trial.

I think you're just jealous that I was chosen as the most loyal clone of this monthcycle, breaking your three month streak, which was only one month off the record for continuous loyalty awards.

-- Omega-U-MAN-1337

Omega-U-MAN claims:

  1. To have been slain over a thousand times in rapid succession by the Magic Hate Ball;
  2. That a vat technician successfully cloned him a thousand times in rapid succession;
  3. To have wrested the CyberHack away from someone, updated its software to the latest revision, and used it, in so little time that he avoided being slain by the MHB again;

  4. To be certain that Jan-U's signature is not forged - despite the fact that Jan-U has no arms or hands, and any actual signature has been created via some mechanical process that could be duplicated.

All told, his story is plainly either outright fabrication, distortion of events to cover up treasonous activity, or a case of Neuro-Cascade_Failure.

Omega-U: Get your form usage correct; the DebateIsFutileResolutionForm has changed a lot since you invented the notion five yearcycles ago. It's even explained in this report, and you're not getting it right - check the entry and you'll see:

  1. The DebateIsFutileResolutionForm doesn't declare that you've done nothing treasonous; it simply suspends debate on the subject.

  2. Friend Computer has, indeed, allowed you to file the Form with only your own approval, with no seconding required. But any High Programmer can do that.

  3. Friend Computer has not altered the operation of the Form. Once it has been properly filed, it has no effect until someone seconds it.

Given your current mental state (treasonous or Neuro-Cascaded), I'm not particularly surprised at these slip-ups, but they annoy me nonetheless.

-- Err-U-DYT-9

It occurred to me in reading this, that Omega-U, if he just burnt through 1331 clones, must owe a really substantial bill for his clone replacement. I had one of my bean-counters run the numbers based on the current formulae approved by The Computer for these calculations. If Omega is telling the truth, it looks like he owes (Drum Roll Please...)

50,549,900,000,907,400,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 Credits.

Now... that's gotta hurt. Shame they didn't catch anyone responsible... looks like Omega is stuck with the bill until they do.

-- Mesh-U-GNA-1


2013-06-13 13:58