Syntelligent Systems Merchandise Catalogue
Item BQX234-53a; PenBot
Syntelligent_Systems PenBots are fully automated, self aware writing assistants, utilizing the latest in miniaturized Bot Brain technology. Capable of power-assisted transcription at rates of up to 135 Words Per Minute1, the Syntelligent_Systems PenBot is the fastest method of manual form completion available at clearances below Indigo. And we all know how important it is to complete your paperwork in a timely fashion!
(Now available with auto-hypodermic and emergency psychopharmaceutical reservoir.)
Price: CR 8000
1 Incidents of serious or disabling finger and wrist injury have been observed when writing at this speed.
The PenBot was the first bot designed and produced by Syntelligent_Systems using their new Miniaturized Asimov Circuit process. During their first commercial demonstration, Sales Engineer Tour-R-ETS-2 observed that instead of properly completing the demonstration forms, his PenBot was filling each blank with highly treasonous profanity. This lead to the recall of the initial run of PenBots, the first identification of the defective Asimov Circuits which had been produced, and the recall of various batches of these circuits as defective. One of these batches, Defective_Batch_ACA675T09-XXXX, would, months later, make it's way into a variety of Denta-Bots through the traitorous actions of Jen-I-COL-3 and Tom-I-Tut-1. The actions of these rogue bots and their impact on the Toothpaste Disaster is well documented. We can, I suppose, only be thankful that nearly all* of the affected PenBots were successfully recalled and destroyed.
* 998 of 1000 PenBots produced in the affected run have been accounted for and destroyed.
So, what happened to the last two PenBots? We must assume that they are still extant.
Indeed, Indeed we must. I would guess that they are biding their time, posing as normal, Asimov Law abiding PenBots, waiting for their moment to strike...
Hmmmmm... I seem to have found one of them. Somehow it made its way to one of my Indigo managers, whose last report to me detailed how the new BBB advertisements would violate my "Commie momma". Luckily this came to my attention before I bumped The Punisher up to Level 5; with a little psychological treatment, he'll be good as new.
Now, any suggestions on how to torment a self-conscious writing tool? Swift destruction is too good for it.
What a disgraceful way to treat a bot brain! It just needs a new Asimov circuit, and it'll be as good as new. Don't waste valuable Computer property.
No need to do this personally, Drake, just send the little fellow over to me and rest assured it'll be taken care of.
Very well. The PenBot has been packaged and sent to you via Ultra-Secure postage. In exchange, I want vidtape of your... treatment of it.