Exercise Pills, the ultimate reward of yearcycles of research by a team consisting of both R&D and Armed Forces personnel, were rolled out ten monthcycles ago in HLK_sector, a distant cousin chemically to B2. Four thousand clones switched their training from the standard mandatory daily exercise routine to these tiny green / black gelatin capsules.
An EP training session is involuntary, and has been observed to occur between 10 minutes and 1 hour after ingestion. Each session consisted of approximately four thousand full upper body contractions evenly spaced at approximately 100 per minute, followed by three hundred right and left leg lifts concurrently with fourteen thousand finger extensions, in random rotation. Test subjects have been observed doing many variations on the routine from this point forward. A typical example of behavior to follow the above sequence would be roughly one hundred forty eye twitches and/or eyelid raises, followed by alternating smiles, frowns, and terrified screams.
Needless to say, clone strength in HLK_sector is up significantly, nearly 3% over all, though the side effects have yet to be fully determined.
The first case of exercise pills to be sent outside HLK_sector have been lost. Reports were made of an extremely strong looking green clearance mutant, babling incoherently carrying a package that may have been that case. He was supposedly seen during the ToothpasteRebellion distributing bottles to commie traitors.
This sounds like a good subject for a Catastrophe Overview & Mistake Identification & Comparison (COMIC) book! Have any Emergency_Disaster_Response_Teams involved in the clean-up of the ToothpasteRebellion published on the topic of this ultra-strong GREEN mutant? It sounds Incredible!
Ah, so that's where that particular shipment went. Pity you never filed a Loss of ULTRAVIOLET Clearance Experimental Medication/Supplement BULK897849873/`trdy form with PLC. Or with R&D. Or with me. We have a problem. I'm sure it's simply a failure to communicate. Either that, or maybe you need a chat with The Computer.