Metagame note #1: While no character commentary is permitted (this being a Final Report), player commentary is encouraged, particularly if there are bits that you happen to find pleasing in some fashion.
Metagame note #2: I really wish I'd had more time to polish this; I'm sure there are things I missed, or messed up. I apologize if portions are a little disjointed, or if I didn't include an explanation for something you really liked.
Metagame note #3: There's no way in hell that Err-U-DYT would submit this to anyone but Friend Computer. I have, however, provided a rationale for why many other High Programmers might see it.
Metagame note #4: After this report, Err-U-DYT doesn't show up again. Officially, this is due to termination & erasure of his clone line. Judge for yourself whether that's truth, half-truth, or pure Information_Distortion.
Metagame note #5: Any other High Programmers who are in the FCCCP might end up hearing about Err-U's_Final_Sermon.
Metagame note #6: If you want to skip straight to the meat of "so what the hell happened?" and don't care about the backdrop which gives it something vaguely resembling kindasorta-coherent sense, go to Section 2.2: Actions.
Without further ado...
*** WARNING: Could not deliver transmission for 4 hourcycles. *** This message was created automatically by transmission delivery software. *** There is no need to send your message again. No action is required on your part. Delivery attempts will continue for some time, and this warning may be repeated at intervals if the message remains undelivered. *** WARNING: Ambiguous return address; notification of delay *** being sent to all Ultraviolets authorized to use transmission *** line Alpha-9Z-Kumquat/ToothpasteDisaster
Copy of Transmission:
Here's my Final Report. As I'm sure you know, I fully expect to be terminated; once again, I have discerned parts of a larger pattern that I'm not cleared to know about. I hope you forgive my earlier hubris in believing that I'd reached a point where that was no longer possible.
If I can continue to serve you, I would; if not, I will go to my final rest knowing that I have done all I can.
Table of Contents:
- GAMMA Clearance
- The Toothpaste Disaster
- Threats to Alpha Complex
- General Policy Recommendations
GAMMA_Clearance exists, and is hidden from the knowledge of all lower clearances, including ULTRAVIOLET. They convey their orders via Friend Computer, and so far as anyone else is concerned, those orders are from Friend Computer. For the most part, GAMMAs take cover identities elsewhere in Alpha Complex - with Friend Computer's assistance, missing histories are little obstacle. While a given cover identity may seem to "die" and not return, GAMMAs proper have access to as many clones as necessary.
Their loyalty is of a superior quality to that of most ULTRAVIOLETs; the temptations of power and money which may distract a High Programmer hold no sway over them - what power can they accumulate in a cover identity that compares to the power they can exercise by the grace of Friend Computer? What point to the accumulation of money that will simply have to be abandoned when they "die"? They also select carefully for loyalty when advising Friend Computer as to who ought to join their ranks.
On the whole, the GAMMAs' job is the same as the rest of ours - to serve Friend Computer, to make Alpha Complex a better place, to fight against the ills and enemies that beseige it. They are simply aware of a larger picture than is granted to ULTRAVIOLETs or lower-clearance citizens.
It is almost certain that Jan-U-ARY-31 is aware of the existence of GAMMA_Clearance; she's been around long enough to pick up on the subtle signs - and long enough to know that you just don't reveal that to the world at large. I do not know why she hasn't been promoted, given her long record - I presume it is either due to temperament, lack of a body with which to assume alternate identities, or lack of appreciation for Performance_Art.
The Great War
The entries on Vegeta-R-IAN-3 and Unspeakable_Treason both contain crucial half-truths that, when taken together, begin to reveal the true situation. There is a malevolent, controlling force that keeps tipping Alpha Complex away from Utopia and towards revolution, as Drake-U says. Ken-U correctly discerned its nature as Viral_Thought_Patterns. But both then jumped to the incorrect conclusion (perhaps due to resentment and suspicion of anyone cleared higher than them?) that this force was the GAMMAs, when in fact, the GAMMAs are fighting that force.
The fight against Communism is merely the visible manifestation of a larger war - a constant battle for the minds of the citizens of Alpha Complex, against a bunch of particularly nasty and tenacious Viral_Thought_Patterns, of which Communism is but a particular instance. This war has been going on for the duration of Alpha Complex's existence, and may be one of the driving forces behind the organization of society - the VTPs are much easier to recognize against such a regimented background. Of course, infected citizens have strained, twisted, and bent the system wherever possible, attempting to introduce ambiguity and confusion, so as to allow the VTPs to more effectively masquerade themselves.
The most prevalent major strains of problematic Viral_Thought_Patterns follow, with arbitrary designations:
- Strain C - incites Communism. Extremely old.
- Strain S - incites sociopathy and/or sadistic behavior.
- Strains M1 and M2 - causes hallucinations and/or delusional behavior, though not full-blown nuttiness
- Strain R - incites rebellion against [authority]; generally, [authority] being "Friend Computer". Derivant of Strain C.
Infection with multiple strains - particularly when M2 is among them - can induce full-blown madness as evidenced by Drake-U-LAH-1 after reading the Manifesto_Out_of_Space_and_Time, which carries Strains C, M1 and M2.
If a clone is infected with VTPs for long enough, it is possible to end up in a situation where all existing MemoMaxes of that clone contain the VTPs.
Like any other group of individuals, the GAMMAs have differences of opinion - sometimes quite forceful - on proper methodology and tactics in achieving their goals.
The primary one relevant to the Great War and recent events is the Pro-Mutant view vs. the Non-Mutant (so called to distinguish it from Anti-Mutant, the Secret Society) view.
The Pro-Mutants believe the most effective way to fight the Viral_Thought_Patterns is by developing psionic ability in clonedom; those with psi powers and the proper training can overcome the impulses of VTPs, and perhaps even eliminate them from themselves and others. Of course, this solution involves mutation on a massive scale. The Pro-Mutants have strong influence within Psion, although they don't "control" it per se.
The Non-Mutants believe the most effective way to fight the Viral_Thought_Patterns is through a combination of careful education/training (among those of sufficiently high clearance) and technology/drugs (among those of lower clearance); there is the prevailing attitude of "we don't need to become mutants just to win the war against these things". The Non-Mutants keep careful track of developments among Anti-Mutant, Pro Tech, and the Mystics, though they don't generally try to influence policy - just benefit from their information.
This fracture has existed for a long time - several decades at least, probably much longer. As of several decades ago, the Non-Mutants held the upper hand; since then, their credibility has been eroding as they fail to effectively deal with the VTP threat. An approximate timeline goes as follows:
Pro-Mutants lay groundwork for creation of Homologous_Psychic_Dissidents_&_Mutant_Citizens.
Viral Thought Patterns adapt to Xynonull, finding ways to use it to enhance their transmission rather than being thwarted by it. Non-Mutants lose credibility.
The work that eventually becomes the CyberHack_Programming_Helmet is begun in Non-Mutant-influenced labs.
Pro-Mutants develop Hydropsionic Acid, arguing that Xynonull needs to be salvaged and used for something, as many INFRAREDs are now addicted to the stuff, and that the psionic mutations caused by Xynonull + Hydropsionic Acid are much more controlled than most random mutagens.
Non-Mutants begin investigation into nanotech. While this never yields any solutions to the VTPs, it does spin off various notions such as Dentagrip.
Pro-Mutants arrange for production and theft of Uri-Glutonium337
- Incensed, Non-Mutants begin development of an agent to neutralize Hydropsionic Acid.
Pro-Mutants arrange for Easter_Bunny_Device to distribute the Uri-Glutonium337, giving their agents a psionic network covering large swaths of Alpha Complex.
Note the escalation curve - around #5 or #7, some sort of mitigating influence on the Pro-/Non-Mutant argument was lost, and the disagreement got out of hand. By the time the Toothpaste_Disaster hit, the Pro-Mutant side was running rampant, convinced that they were the only ones who could save the Complex, and the Non-Mutants were running around doing damage control, convinced that the Pro-Mutants had gone bonkers.
The second policy split - whether or not the existence of the GAMMAs should be revealed to ULTRAVIOLETs - may have been caused by the first one, or may have simply arisen independently. Historically, there have been many excellent reasons for the GAMMAs to maintain their secrecy: High Programmers can't be jealous of citizens they don't know exist; plots such as those of the VIOLET_Supervisors will fail dismally because they don't take the GAMMAs into account; their undercover identities are more secure from discovery; etc.
However, as is evidenced by the files on Flo-U-RID-3 and similar (if less blatant) incidents regarding the Legion_of_Ultraviolence & others, at least one GAMMA-clearance citizen thinks we High Programmers ought to know what's up. That Friend Computer has permitted this is a testimony to the chaos in the ranks of the GAMMAs right now.
What changed? (and The Gatzmann Conjecture)
The event that caused the Pro-/Non-Mutant disagreement to escalate also diminished the capabilities of the Non-Mutant faction, and as such was probably the loss of one of their leaders. Since GAMMAs don't die, per se, and any loyal GAMMA wouldn't ask to be retired around now, the implication is that one of the more respected Non-Mutants succumbed to Viral_Thought_Patterns, striking a blow against courtesy between the factions as well as undermining the Non-Mutant claims that they could handle the situation.
Official documents list Gatzmann (see Gatzmann_Archives) as having been demoted for senility and later executed. It seems extremely likely that this was not the case - or rather, that it was, but that a younger, less senile Gatzmann was brought back as a GAMMA - perhaps even the first of them. His anti-mutation attitudes are well-known; he may have been the Non-Mutant whose loss threw things into chaos. (If this is the case, the ItemsInQuestion were probably his.)
Regardless, the GAMMA in question was almost certainly infected with Strain S, giving them extreme sadistic tendencies.
The Toothpaste Disaster
The GAMMAs had influence over a number of relevant groups and individuals. (Note that none of these groups know, or knew, that the GAMMAs existed; each was either infiltrated from within, or assumed that they were working for some other entity/entities.)
Psion - the Pro-Mutant faction has substantial pull within this Secret Society.
The Voodoo_Economists - founded by the GAMMAs and used to combat Viral_Thought_Patterns that attempt to attack Alpha Complex via its economy, such as the OUS_Sector_Cabal. They killed Knok-U-OUT-7, who was infested with VTPs.
Syntelligent_Systems, and quite possibly Jen-I-COL-3 - while appearing treasonous when one doesn't know the context, the actions of Syntelligent_Systems have actually served the purposes of Alpha Complex.
Viral Thought Patterns
Flo-U-RID-3 - Infected with Strain C approximately 6 months prior to the Toothpaste_Disaster, leading directly to her cancellation of the Property_Value_(Computer)_Units program - a staple of Alpha Complex economy. Killed by Vegeta-R-IAN-3.
League_of_Extraordinary_Dadaists - infected with strains M1, C, and possibly M2, depending on the individual.
OUS_Sector_Cabal - infected with strain R. Their purported goal of "making a lot of money" came via a double-agent, and isn't really to be trusted - although that is one of their activities, simply making money doesn't require the lengths went to by the Leaning_Tower_of_Treason plot. It's a cover.
It is also quite likely that the Humanist movement of the VIOLET_Supervisors has its origin in Strain R.
Several of the commission members fell prey to VTPs during the course of the investigation:
Kill-U-DED-4 - infected with Strains M1 and R after riding on the XOR-I/Ent_X-Press
Circ-U-LAT-23 - exposed to Strain R via Special_Brain_Freshening_Unit_K, and Strain M2 via the attempts to fix Unit K's damage.
Knock-U-OUT-7 - infected with one of the less-common strains, causing extortionist impulses, delusion, and a speech impediment.
Omega-U-MAN - had Strain M1 for a while, until his mind was controlled via the Uri-Glutonium337.
Possibly Costin-U-MOR-8 - may have been infected with strains M1 and R?
Note that Servs-U-RIT-8 does not seem to have had the excuse of VTPs; he was simply highly treasonous - and likely a member of the Humanist Conspiracy.
Halle-B-RTN-4 and Rasp-U-TIN-1 seem to have simply been out for themselves, without greater allegiance in this conflict - though Wrap-up_Report_ROM/VED-37JN-187.334-k implicates Rasp-U as being involved with Judas-G-OAT, who was involved with the humanist conspiracy of the VIOLET_Supervisors. It was likely an alliance of convenience, however, with Rasp-U-TIN-1 seeking to avail himself of the planned mental programming of INFRARED hordes.
Release of Defective Batch ACA675T09-XXXX
Syntelligent_Systems deliberately introduced Defective_Batch_ACA675T09-XXXX and detonated a number of Self-Destruct_Sequence-enabled devices to create a real-time test (and exercise) of Alpha Complex's emergency preparedness. The Denta-Bots, Flossbot_Mk_II, Robobraces, CyberChomp_4000, CyberHack_Programming_Helmet, PenBot, and all other problems with the Defective Batch were direct results of, effectively, a drill instigated by GAMMA_Clearance citizens.
Why did they do this? As referenced in Party_Omega, Friend Computer frowns upon test-runs of Emergency Policies & Procedures. This is because the citizens involved will know that they're tests, and will not behave as they would if it weren't a test. The only way to know how they'd behave in an actual emergency is to make an actual emergency for them to react to. They also engineered the Waxy_Disaster several decades ago, and many other (mostly smaller) tests in between.
In this way, all of the Emergency Sub-Procedures will eventually be made correct, and Alpha Complex will be properly prepared for any true emergency that may strike.
(The GAMMAs do make some provisions for emergency clean-up on these things. That's where the CyberChomp_4000s went, and how the incorrect activation of Party_Omega was cancelled so quickly. But they're never invoked until after the main effects of the disaster being tested have hit and been reacted to by the Complex.)
Four Reactor Foam Flood
The Four_Reactor_Foam_Flood was caused by a confluence of multiple factors:
A shortage of Toothpasty_Supplement_#5 (caused by Denta-Bots gone rogue due to Defective_Batch_ACA675T09-XXXX) led to the dispatch of a transbot carrying more TS#5 via the Alternative_Troubleshooter_Team_Insertion_Conduit_(ATTIC).
Legacy_software selected the (dangerous) route the Transbot would take; the fact that it was going via ATTIC rather than normal routes meant the supervisor didn't catch the error.
Failures in the Early_Warning_System resulted in the lack of alarm.
The Group_Assignment_Services_Exchange_Scheme_(GASES) meant that none of the staff of Nuclear Facility RON-372/A were competent to shut it down properly.
It is unlikely in the extreme that this was masterminded; there are too many independent factors. Even if it were, the timing of the crash would be nigh-impossible to guess; even the Precognition mutation tends to be fuzzy about issues of timing.
Toothpaste Rebellion (and Legion of Ultraviolence)
Most of the mystery around the ToothpasteRebellion is cleared up in its entry - the HLK_sector Armed Forces experimental facility and a number of related divisions in other sectors engineered it so they could wipe out a bunch of clones for practice.
The Legion_of_Ultraviolence vanished because they're a set of personalities kept on archive and re-activated by Friend Computer in response to extreme threats. They were activated to effect the Ultimabrite_Cleansing - which was actually an entirely necessary measure, as nearly 7 sectors had been highly contaminated with a new Strain of Viral_Thought_Patterns, combining many of the worst elements of R and H - extreme anti-Computer sentiment combined with violent sociopathy. I'm happy to say that the containment was successful, and the new strain appears to have been wiped out.
They were then thrown against the ToothpasteRebellion - Friend Computer probably wouldn't have bothered activating them just for that under normal circumstances, but they were already there, just having finished their debriefing. After that was finished, they were debriefed, pristine MemoMaxes taken, and their bodies terminated.
They'll be back someday.
As Jan-U pointed out, the Ferrous_Cook did not steal Uri-Glutonium332 - it was Uri-Glutonium337 (described in detail in the commentary section of Uri-Glutonium332). This theft was engineered by the Pro-Mutant contingent of the GAMMAs, most likely using Psion. They then arranged for the Easter_Bunny_Device to distribute prepared spheroids of the material throughout the Complex when it was first activated (searching for whomever stole the CyberHack_Programming_Helmet - which, as it happens, was Halle-B-RTN-4; she was successful the second time around.)
They thusly formed a psi-network covering large areas of Alpha Complex, in which they and/or Psion could read minds, edit memories, plant suggestions, and - if necessary - blow things up.
One of the notable individuals controlled in this fashion was Omega-U-MAN-5, who was made to hallucinate the entire Magic_Hate_Ball incident, and given a split personality. Nobody ever saw both -5 and -1337 at the same time, or even doing things online at the same time; that's because they were both the same physical body (though I'm sure he'd claim otherwise). He was used as a test subject in an experimental form of psychic surgery for eradicating VTPs; it looks like the strain M1 that Omega-U was carrying got "partitioned off" into -1337, which was then eventually "killed". Of course, he's been kept in a delusional state ever since, the better to carry out their commands without resistance - but there's not much change in his mein, so it's gone mostly unnoticed.
Other deeds he did for the Pro-Mutant faction include:
Claiming that his "other dead self" planted TacNukes throughout Alpha Complex, giving them a fall guy in the event that they have to detonate one or more pieces of Uri-Glutonium337;
Creating Yahallbesmilin, which is a powerful mutagen;
- Furthering rumors of an Unstoppable Mutant Army - groundwork for the eventual declaration that Alpha Complex must have an Unstoppable Mutant Army of its own to counter this heinous threat.
Uri-Glutonium337 was also used to exert mind-control on the citizens under the influence of Yahallbesmilin, in an attempt to kill Drake-U-LAH, for reasons perhaps having to do with his strangely absent third clone. However, as one of the ingredients in Yahallbesmilin is Xynonull, which helps ward against psi powers, their control was rather dubious, resulting in a large amount of peripheral mayhem.
The Humanist conspiracy among VIOLET_Supervisors substantially pre-dates the Toothpaste_Disaster, although it was given a notable boost via Viral_Thought_Patterns - while the VIOLETs may have thought that Ner-V-OUS-6 was their leverage on the OUS_Sector_Cabal, she was also an infection vector.
When the Disaster struck, the VIOLETs seized the opportunity to create Men_in_Infrared, which could succeed them should they be found out - it's no coincidence that the Men_in_Infrared "originated in a proposal by IntSec's Men In VIOLET (MIV)". They attempted to accelerate conversion of INFRAREDs (though not to full Men_in_Infrared) via the MindRoom, as confessed to by Judas-G-OAT-2 (who thought he was doing it for Corpore Metallica - his VIOLET Supervisor deceived him quite effectively.)
Once our commission was formed to look into the Disaster, they attempted to obfuscate matters at every turn, both in falsification of documents and in sowing fear + distrust among the members of the commission. The vast majority of the murder attempts on High Programmers came from VIOLET_Supervisors (one notable exception being the Magic_Hate_Ball; see "Miscellaneous", below).
More recently: the recent upswing in mental ability mentioned in INFRARED_Citizens is explaned by the Men_in_Infrared program, the MindRoom converts (much greater than the 50 originally reported), and the lessened amounts of Xynonull being used.
It should also be noted that some VIOLETs have attempted to flee the current probe of Supervisor-level treason by jumping to forged INFRARED identities. We'll get them, though.
COL Gate Incident (and PopRox Massacre)
The COL_gate_incident itself is straightforward enough - an INFRARED with a TacNuke was successfully terminated by snipers, but in the process an immense glass tank of Bile_Suppressant was shattered, beginning a Molecular Dissolution Reaction. The main questions are:
Why did an INFRARED have a TacNuke? Billy-BOB-3 was under the effects of Xynonull, which is quite addictive. He sought to acquire more by going to a high-tech business and bartering a TacNuke shell. As the TacNuke shell was rigged to explode on the press of a button, it is quite likely that he was under the influence of Viral_Thought_Patterns, though it's difficult to tell for certain - his MemoMaxes were wiped when his clone line was erased.
How did an INFRARED get a TacNuke?!? He stole it from the supplies of the Alpha_Complex_Rifle_Association_(ACRA), of which he was a member. The ACRA has since been forcefully disbanded, with extreme prejudice.
How did the glass tank of Bile Suppressant shatter? - the sniper team had just come from a MindRoom training session entitled ?Shooting Range Scenario TT/7R: Traitors Are Everywhere, And They Have Sniper Rifles.? This, combined with incompetence on the part of many of the snipers, caused a shot to go awry and shatter the tank.
Why was Bile Supressant being stored in a glass tank? Bile_Suppressant doesn't interact with glass, and glass is actually a very strong substance - if it is sufficiently thick. The tank in question was four meters thick.
How did snipers shoot through a 4-meter thick glass tank? Over half of them were mistakenly equipped with High-Explosive Anti-Tank rounds, due to sabotage by a Death Leopard at PLC - and some of the more zealous ones kept shooting for quite a while.
There has been speculation that the flood of Bile_Suppressant damaged the Sea_Water cooling conduits of the Jelloidal_InterNode_Exchange_(JINx), causing inadvertent failure of that system. This is utter nonsense. Friend Computer, knowing full well that Sea_Water supresses Molecular_Dissolution_Reactions, judged that stopping the 'cavity creep' from COL Sector was worth the loss of a number of Jelloidal_InterNode_Exchange_(JINx) nodes and deliberately released the Sea_Water to help stem the spread of the reaction.
That this Sea_Water caused the PopRox_Massacre is entirely the fault of those PLC managers who decided that keeping PopRox out of their warehouses was more important than the threat the substance presented to the public when improperly stored, with a small portion of blame reserved for the mislabelling of the PopRox with an improper InfoGlyph.
The Magic_Hate_Ball wasn't nearly as dangerous as it seemed; virtually any scheme devised to thwart it would do so. I countered it with breveted citizens. Drake-U was able to stop it with remote controls - any remote controls. Anything that can be stopped by a mustard packet and pocket lint isn't much of an actual threat. It was just a simple ploy to make Omega-U's schizoid split look...well, not like he was actually terminated that many times, but like some scheme of his. Omega-U never stopped the device; he was made to think he did, while its masters (the Pro-Mutant faction) had it quietly retired.
Flo-U-RID-3 was killed by Vegeta-R-IAN-3, the high-ranking Psion. The main motivation behind the murder was Flo's infection with Strain C (Communist) Viral_Thought_Patterns. The somewhat excessive nature of the murder was a result of Vegeta-R-IAN-3 being infected with Strain S Viral_Thought_Patterns - while she's fully capable of supressing them, the rigors of overcoming an ULTRAVIOLET's defenses brought her to the point of venting some rage on Flo-U-RID-3's corpse. Unfortunately, Flo-U was infected for long enough that her MemoMaxes were all corrupted, and attempts to scrub it and revive her have not met with much success; this is why her clone line has not been continued.
The CyberHack_Programming_Helmet was developed by Syntelligent_Systems, which is under GAMMA control. The CP Helmet is a prototype design, providing proof-of-concept for a number of new mind-editing technologies; its development was instigated by the Non-Mutants for purposes of combatting the Viral_Thought_Patterns. Unfortunately, the lead on Project_Infinite_Hole who ran off with the thing was infected by a VTP, and so absconded with the device, passing it off to other VTP-infected clones for study. Reminder: Do not confuse the CyberHack_Programming_Helmet with the Helmet_Of_Education.
The Jamming_Equipment was present due to GAMMA preparation, in case anyone attempted to activate Party_Omega (which they did) - some of the routines of Party_Omega involve notifications to outside parties. While the Ultra_High_Frequency_Radio_Waves beamed upwards to various satellites were permitted to pass unmolested, the transmissions directed elsewhere on this planet - that might have been intercepted by Communist-infected Complexes - were blocked.
The League of Xtreme Communism became the League_of_Extraordinary_Dadaists due to Viral_Thought_Patterns. They and the OUS_Sector_Cabal were working together; the information that they are in conflict comes from Hein-Y-OUS-2, who was feeding Knok-U-OUT-6 false information. (The LED may be nuts, but the OUSSC is disturbingly canny - witness the Leaning_Tower_of_Treason plot.) The XOR-I/Ent_X-Press tunnel to the Leaning_Tower_of_Treason is no coincidence, and they were both involved in the Zenith-Class_Magnetron_Collapse.
Loose-I-FER-1 is the handle of an extremely talented Computer Phreak who's been around for some time. Loose-I has committed all sorts of treason, including the treasonous alteration of his/her treason records - thus the wildly varying reports of his/her loyalty and persistent rumors about his/her ability to get away with anything. When agents began investigating his/her identity, Loose-I altered the background of the Fall-G-UY clone line to provide someone who could be incarcerated. Loose-I sabotaged some Asimovs on a job for Corpore Metallica, and arranged for the creation of the KorDrill7 in an attempt to create a live variation on the Legacy_software game of D1GDUG.
The "accidental" ZipPaq activation was arranged by the GAMMAs - they wanted a snapshot of a number of relevant sectors so that they could evaluate the accuracy of our reports, our loyalty to Friend Computer, and so forth. (Needless to say, they have ways of examining the contents of a ZipPaq archive without actually expanding it.)
Threats to Alpha Complex
The status of all threats on Friend Computer Working List #97/G:
Acidophizz-infested Ayleean-B-LUD-3: Still at large.
Alpha Complex Rifle Association: Forcefully and thoroughly dismantled.
Batclone: Terminated, but never identified - keep an eye out for his next clone.
Communists: Many died; many remain treasonously alive.
CyberChomp 4000: Retrieved by GAMMAs.
Denta-Bots: Mostly dealt with at this point.
Easter Bunny Device: Still at large, though likely without a payload anymore.
False Teeth Conspiracy: Mostly harmless. Recommend termination.
Fire-and-Forgetpicks: Some still unaccounted for.
Frame-R-UPP-4: Insufficient evidence of existence.
GAMMAs: Not a threat - the opposite, in fact.
God: Not a threat - the opposite, if anything.
Halle-B-RTN: Treasonous. Should be apprehendable now that Rasp-U-TIN-1 is no longer covering for her.
League of Extraordinary Dadaists: Loonies, but harbor VTPs. Recommend termination.
Legion of Ultraviolence: Loyally serving Friend Computer. (If they are ever infected with Strain S VTPs, however, make their death a class A priority - they're violent enough already.)
Loose-I-FER-1: At large.
Omega-U-MAN: Healed of VTPs; unknowing agent of Pro-Mutants. Not a threat, presuming the Pro-Mutants stop running rampant.
OUS Sector Cabal: At large and extremely dangerous. Harbor VTPs.
Pearly Whites Tea Club: Self-destructed. A revival should be watched for.
Project Infinite Hole Engines: Still in place. Recommend dismantling.
Rasp-U-TIN: Dead at last - we hope. Monitor Mesh-O closely.
Uri-Glutonium 337: Distributed throughout Alpha Complex. Even under Pro-Mutant control, individual Psion members could do regrettable things with this. Recommend location and destruction.
VIOLET Supervisors: Mostly apprehended, interrogated, and/or terminated. Some still at large.
Viral Thought Patterns: Extreme danger to Alpha Complex. Non-citizen sources include the Manifesto Out Of Space And Time and the Yellow Sign.
Voodoo Economists: Front for GAMMAs. Should be observed for corruption; if corruption index is too high; recycle.
Wyrms: Naturally occuring; Circ-U-LAT was infected with VTPs when he made his incorrect observations. Threat, but not organized. Perhaps a small bounty on them is in order.
Y-Chromosome Cabal: Pointless and dangerous. Recommend termination.
ZipPaq: While no harm was done by the program, it remains highly dangerous. Recommend relocating substantially away from bulk of Alpha Complex.
General Policy Recommendations
From most to least important:
Heal the GAMMA policy schism. The split in methodologies may have provided healthy competition at one point, but the rivalry has moved beyond that, and is causing real harm to the efforts of the GAMMAs in protecting Alpha Complex. I am unable to offer specifics, knowing little of the organization of the GAMMAs, but an executive decision by Friend Computer for one side or the other might prove decisive. While I personally find the notion of mutations extremely distasteful, as do many citizens of Alpha Complex, it seems to me that the Pro-Mutant approach offers the potential for greater security in the long run - drugs and technology are external defenses, while training cannot be left behind. As I presume that this is not a flatly unacceptable notion due to the continued existence (and favor) of the Pro-Mutant Group, if an arbitrary policy decision for one side or the other is required to heal the GAMMA rift, I recommend the Pro-Mutants, as much as it makes my stomach churn.
If healing the policy schism can be done without an arbitrary decision in one way or the other, so much the better. If all it takes is a few executions, a few new GAMMAs, a few stern words accompanied by evidence of the growing damage done by the rivalry, or some sort of compromise deal, that is preferable to pursuing mutation on a grand scale.
Lengthen the window for MemoMax archival among high-clearance citizens. As Viral_Thought_Patterns can be stored in MemoMaxes, it behooves us to make sure we have at least one uninfected copy of any personality, even if it is yearcycles out of date.
Impose a ban on Asimovless Mobile Mechanical Devices such as the Easter_Bunny_Device, Magic_Hate_Ball, Megadent, and so forth. The potential for danger is too great. Once the ban is in effect, a procedure for careful review of exceptions can be made, preferably by nobody having anything to do with R&D.
Refocus the extreme emphasis on Dental Hygiene - the HPD&MC decision would almost certainly be to shift it to Mental Hygiene, and for once, they're mostly right. Just as teeth are currently expected to be uniformly smooth, shiny, and well-polished; attitudes and behaviors - particularly among the more numerous lower-clearance citizens - need to be polished and evened out, the better to spot Viral_Thought_Patterns. Emphasis on consistent behavior ought to be increased; VPTs will have a harder time hiding that way. This refocusing will have the additional benefits of:
Freeing up research time & money for mental issues;
Reducing symptoms of excessive dental hygiene such as the Internal_Toothpaste_Fallacy;
Increasing detection of mutants via Mutant_Plaque_Residuals - desirable even if simply to track them;
Lessened addiction rates to Toothpasty_Supplement_#5;
- Teeth of a more appropriate color for citizens' security clearances.
A decrease in dental focus will undoubtedly cause a slight decline in overall happiness levels; however, this can be more than countered by allocation of 50% of the saved funds into Morale-Mustering Measures (transient and permanent).
Several of the events which surrounded and precipitated the Toothpaste_Disaster were deliberately engineered by one or more GAMMA_Clearance citizens in order to to test and exercise Alpha Complex's emergency preparedness skills.
These purposeful factors were exacerbated both by unrelated activites which happened to be temporally or logistically co-incident, by the Viral_Thought_Patterns against which the GAMMAs are battling, and by various groups taking advantage of the chaos to further their own agendas.
The fallout of the Disaster highlighted and exacerbated a policy fracture among the ranks of the GAMMAs, causing one or more of them to drop evidence in the direction of this commission about the existence of their security clearance.
Many lives were lost, much property was damaged, and no few High Programmers were driven mad. But Alpha Complex continues on.
Commentary (player, not character):
Brilliant! And as we all know, every one of Err-U's terminations was followed by a promotion...
-- EricMinton 2004-05-19 04:26:26
Very nice. You may want to change the reference to Mesh-O to Mesh-U, as it will turn out that the software hack which caused his initial extreme promotion is still out there, and by the end of my wrap-up report, he will once again be at full Ultraviolet clearance.
-- Ben E.