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It is odd that it should come to this. Having worked through the tangled web of the whole Disaster, it is in a little considered tangent that I find myself. Spotted amidst the SPIn and skullduggery of the various reports here, there are hints at something greater than we could imagine, a concept or state of mind that seems to represent a greater goal for some Citizens than anything else this world has to offer. Flo-U-RID-3 was seeking it out and paid the price, while others - through a coating of Foil-rich Uri-Glutonium332 - have found it unintentionally and taken the secrets to the grave (or at least the Soylent Vats in GRV Sector), or perhaps to the safety of the Phantom_Sectors, where the Laws of Alpha Complex no longer apply. Some tiny scrap of the essence of the truth is undoubtedly contained within the wretched files of the Manifesto_Out_of_Space_and_Time, but I have no desire to see my mind curdled by the Viral_Thought_Patterns that got the better of Ken-U while he investigated Vegeta-R-IAN-3. The truth therein is most definitely tainted, as Ken-U suspected, and to follow that road is to walk down the path to pointless Mesolimbic_Aggregate_Dysfunction. If you want that, you might as well just shoot yourself through the head, or offer up your worthless form to the Magic_Hate_Ball.

What is Zen Deficit Disorder?

Scientifically, it is a withering of neural pathway inhibitors that have been erected through ongoing intake of suppressants and impulse neutralizers contained in our food and water (yes, even in our sustenance - it may not be as concentrated as the stuff the INFRARED_Citizens swallow in amidst the Algae snacks and Soybean ColdFun, but it is still there - otherwise our cynicism might start dragging our Sectors down beneath the Glee_Quotas). The withering isn't detrimental, as such - indeed, ultimately it would appear that the brain is simply trying to return to its natural state. Biological scans of Old Reckoning Citizens from certain secure regions of the Gatzmann_Archives show that Alpha Complex Citizens, by comparison, have brains swollen and distorted out of all proportion. Our Citizens are scarred and beaten, like someone fired them at point blank range against a LeadLike wall without a safety helmet (of course, there are some test subjects on the payroll of R&D who have documentary evidence to that effect).

What is the effect of suffering Zen Deficit Disorder?

By Lenin's_Tooth, this is a biggy. It might be hard to swallow, like a mouthful of Sea_Water or a double dose of Diphenhydromegatoxine. We think we have a grasp of what's going on around us because we've been here a while, we've climbed the dizzying heights to Ultraviolet and have access to all kinds of data and secured records that most Infrared couldn't even imagine might exist. Yet, we still know nothing, in all honesty. We have undergone so much baseline Personality_Modification and drug therapy throughout our existence that we no longer perceive the noses on the front of our faces (with the exception of Jan-U, who clearly can't) without making decisions driven by things we have been educated to believe, rather than just personally making a judgement of our own.

We ask only for the truth. But, Friend Computer - and the complex web of scripting and counter-programming behind it - tells us "You can't handle the truth!". Zen Deficit Disorder is the resolution, the gateway, the road to our salvation, the other side of the looking glass. Everything we do is sabotaged by our personal programming and medicative regime - each thought is a Zen Deficit, a flash of bemused and bewildered understanding that is nothing more than a lie. When someone is unhappy our instincts tells us they must be a traitor. When we read records of the latest disaster and the Infrared death toll, our immediate comfort is that whatever happened did so for the betterment of Alpha Complex. Whenever Friend Computer denies information, we are struck by the certainty that there is good reason for it and that Ignorance is Strength.

Zen Deficit Disorder is to escape these shackles, break these bonds and discover the crystal clarity of true understanding.

Why should a Citizen coated with Uri-Glutonium332 experience Zen Deficit Disorder? Because in that moment after the coating, their skin boiling around them and their brain frying in their skulls, they realise that they have not been given a golden opportunity to aid in the advancement of technology - they have been led to their deaths like wretched traitors. The Computer is not their Friend - the Computer is a mish-mash of good intentions wrapped up in a chaotic mesh of lies, stupidity, arrogance, mania and paranoia, created by generations of power-hungry High Programmers.

By the time this final report is logged into Central and virally chain-posted to ensure that it gets read, rather than summarily deleted, I will have gone. The truth is that there is nothing here for me, nothing here for any of us. There are better prospects to be found, Out There - and I can see that now more clearly than ever before. It's like the Rose-Tinted_Macro-Goggles have been lifted from my eyes for the first time. I have downloaded my template and wiped all record of it from the Tech Services archival system... there will be no more Costin-U's after me - I couldn't in all conscience allow any of my future selves to suffer like I have up to now.

Of the Toothpaste_Disaster, I don't think it's hard to see where the fault lies. They have been key in the whole thing all along and however hard they have tried to cover their tracks, something has always remained. I have, in my position at Power Services, always tried to retain a safe distance from them, but necessity has never made it practical to do it totally. Now, at last, I am free of their idiotic plans for domination at any cost.

Be Seeing You...

-- Costin


Oh, God... I shouldn't have read this... I shouldn't have read this... I shouldn't have read this...

-- Mesh-R-GNA-8

This can only improve the gene pool. Farewell, Costin-U... you will not be missed.

-- Jan-U-ARY-31

What, no elaborate traps to blow up your rivals as you exile yourself? I'm disappointed.

-- Drake-U-LAH-4

Don't worry; I still have those TacNukes the clone posing as me put in every sector. They're inactive now, but I could always detonate the one in the MOR sector if need be to eliminate some traitor. Speaking of which, I've heard of troubles in the ARY sector. I'm sending in some troubleshooters to take care of it, Jan-U. Don't worry; I'm sure they couldn't possibly accidentally detonate one of the TacNukes there.

-- Omega-U-MAN-5

I'm not sure how you've heard of anything from ARY sector, seeing as how all comm channels have been cut off. Err-U and Screwz-U are still arguing over whether the sector still exists or not, or whether it's been absorbed by a miniature black hole courtesy of R&D.

-- Jan-U-ARY-31, from an undisclosed location

Indeed, nothing would remain here for Costin anymore, except for a quick termination for expressing such irrational and treasonous sentiments in an official report. If his shift of attitude is due to Viral_Thought_Patterns or some other coercion, that's too bad - but this is likely nothing more than the parting shot of a traitor, attempting to sow one last bit of dissent.

Jan-U: ARY sector does still exist; Screwz-U has admitted that "none of the Sectors were destroyed; I never meant to imply that" (ZipPaq commentary). Field agents sent report a certain amount of rioting by seemingly gleeful clones, while the bulk of the citizenry is hunkered down in safety - my best guess is that one of the other Yahallbesmilin shipments was dumped into the Food Vats there.

-- Err-U-DYT-9


2013-06-13 14:00