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Performance Art

I’m sure you’re all aware of my disdain for the “discipline” of “art.” Naturally, this makes me the best suited to discuss the matter dispassionately, as I have no vested interest in sustaining this wasteful practice.

Back in the decadent Old Reckoning times, art was a mechanism for “self-expression.” In our enlightened era, we recognize that the highest form of self-expression is devoted service to Friend Computer, and anything else is merely a diversion at best, and quite possibly treasonous. But in His infinite generosity, Friend Computer allows His trusted servants an assortment of leisure activities; as a result, art remains a common activity among higher-clearance clones.

Two branches of art, however, have come into their full flower in Alpha Complex. These are advertising and propaganda, both of which fall within the ambit of HPD&MC1. They comprise a powerful tool for positive Information_Distortion, helping Friend Computer to keep Alpha Complex efficient and happy. But, like any other form of art, even these media can be twisted to treasonous purposes, as transpired during the Toothpaste_Disaster.

Artists use a variety of psychotechnic algorithms in their work, designed by Special_Brain_Freshening_Unit_K and its antecedents, to embed the necessary memetic virii, subliminal instructions, and other mental stimuli that the product requires in order to have the desired impact on the psyche of the consumer. In accordance with the Laws_of_Alpha_Complex_ed._39/B.3.9, HPD&MC uses four designations for art: paradigmatic, non-paradigmatic, analog and Old Reckoning.

Examples of Analog Art Production by Security Clearance




Amateur Documentaries 6, Coloring Books, Collage


Cooking7, Portraiture (approved poses 1b through 4), Scrap Welding


Still-Life Bot Painting, Portraiture (approved poses 5a through 22), Carpentry


Abstract Sculpture ( B2, papier-mache, Toothpasty_Supplement_#5), Cubism






Pornogenic Biosculpture



Of course, there are additional forms of art that fall outside of the standard classifications, because the big brains at HPD&MC can’t be bothered to organize things properly and they love to make things more difficult for the hard-working, loyal clones in PLC. I’m not going to go into such baroque diversions as interactive art, cybernetic art, psychogenic art, biometabolic art, and any of a hundred8 other bizarre byways in this pointless field of endeavor.

Performance Art is one of these obscure sub-fields. While a number of visual and auditory media, such as Documentaries, concern themselves with recording actual movements and sounds, Performance Art concerns itself with observing such activities directly, as part of an “audience” that gathers to watch and listen to the performer(s). Due to the lack of failsafe measures to prevent treasonous outbursts on the part of the performer9, even the most innocuous Performance Art has a minimum security clearance of GREEN.

The creation of Performance Art holds certain exemptions to the normal laws regarding artistic production.10 Clones as low as RED clearance routinely receive waivers to permit certain forms of artistic expression, allowing for such travesties as the Alpha Complex-wide popularity of “live” Performance Art displays by such performers as Teela-O-MLY or Rand-Y-ROK_&_The_ROKbots. Similarly, a number of Performance Art displays are performed by bots, such as the famous BLUE MAN Group11 and the notorious MIME Format12.

Most notably, certain forms of Performance Art may receive exemptions from treasonous content under highly specialized circumstances. With the assistance of PLC, IntSec has taken advantage of this by using Information_Distortion techniques to spread rumors that anything that can be defined as Performance Art may receive such an exemption by submitting a Y-80NT/U_Commit_Legal_Treason_Via_Performance_Art_Form to PLC. Whenever some clone requisitions such a form, we contact IntSec so that the traitor can be tracked and their treasonous actions prevented.

While these forms have been quite useful at weeding out the less intelligent traitors in our midst, they proved counterproductive during the Toothpaste_Disaster. Over 70,000 forms were submitted in a single weekcycle, totally overwhelming the already-overtaxed PLC and IntSec operatives assigned to handle Y-80NT/U_Commit_Legal_Treason_Via_Performance_Art_Form submissions and analysis. Thus, such wily individuals as Ferrous_Cook and the possibly-nonexistent Roy-G-BIV, not to mention organizations like the League_of_Extraordinary_Dadaists, PURGE and YesterCycle's_Rivals,_TomorrowCycle's_Enemies, were free to wreak havoc at the height of the Disaster, when the valiant defenders of Alpha Complex’s liberties were already stretched to their utmost.


I recommend that all exemptions for legal Performance Art be removed, and that all Performance Art be banned throughout Alpha Complex. Think of it as the first step toward the removal of all art from these hallowed halls. Let us know no distractions from the wonders of paperwork, maintenance, research, and all our other myriad duties for the greater glory of the Complex and Friend Computer!


  1. Currently handled by the Traffic Research (Advertising & Propaganda) working group. Formerly handled by the Audience Ratings Categorization Hierarchy: Treason Revelation / Analysis Index (Tracking Operational Ranking) working group under Rasp-U-TIN-1. (1)

  2. See “Developing A Better Complex.” (2)

  3. See “Ur-B-ANN's Legends.” (3)

  4. See “Compulsory Consumer Hour.” (4)

  5. See “Complex Youth Guidance Program.” (5)

  6. Security clearance required varies by subject matter; see Laws of Alpha Complex ed. 39/B.3.9, section 2C4, subsection 44, chapters 917 through 930. (6)

  7. Orange cookery may contain no more than three of the Thirty-One Official Flavors. Availability of individual flavors may vary. (7)

  8. To be precise, 122 exempted categories of art exist as of 4.27.214. (8)

  9. R&D has been testing an Automated Cutoff System for use at Performance Art exhibitions, which will read the performer’s body language so that the performer may be terminated in the moment between deciding to say something treasonous and actually saying it. The process is currently under review due to a 100% test subject termination rate. (9)

  10. See Laws of Alpha Complex ed. 39/B.3.9, section 3A, subsection 309, chapters 27-29, and section 4C, subsections 220, 917, and 1102-1167. (10)

  11. Founded in MAN sector in year 198. Formerly sponsored by OmniPipeTechServ for their performance of “TUBES.” (11)

  12. ULTRAVIOLET patrons only. Laser pistols supplied upon request. (12)

-- Jan-U-ARY-31

Refs: Y-80NT/U_Commit_Legal_Treason_Via_Performance_Art_Form

Cross-Refs: B2, Commie_Mutant_Traitors, Complex_Youth_Guidance_Program, Compulsory_Consumer_Hour, Developing_A_Better_Complex, Documentaries, Ferrous_Cook, Frame-R-UPP-4, Information_Distortion, Laws_of_Alpha_Complex_ed._39/B.3.9, League_of_Extraordinary_Dadaists, OmniPipeTechServ, Rand-Y-ROK_&_The_ROKbots, Rasp-U-TIN-1, Roy-G-BIV, Special_Brain_Freshening_Unit_K, Thirty-one_Official_Flavors, Toothpaste_Disaster, Toothpasty_Supplement_#5, YesterCycle's_Rivals,_TomorrowCycle's_Enemies


2013-06-13 13:59