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YesterCycle's Rivals, TomorrowCycle's Enemies

I terminated #1337, finally. Or, more precisely, he went after my Memomax records. I'm almost shocked that he didn't realize that they would drive a non-Omega-U to terminate themselves 1... He came to fancy himself some kind of time-travelling "Sorc-R-ERR" searching for the "Stone of Roaring Winds" 2 or some other patent nonsense, and managed to ingest "Constricting Heart Powder" 3 while "casting a spell" 4. Like flybots bursting into flames, he did himself in. At least my sector seems to be more-or-less okay after the chaos of Party_Omega, I hope that yours are going to be okay, but there wasn't much I could do, in the end, to stop his invocation of Party_Omega. At least I did prevent the explosions that were going to blow up everything but Friend Computer that was left afterwards. He had a number of TacNukes placed in key areas ready to go off, but he used my terminal to control them. How stupid. Of course, they're still there (I wasn't able to trapse about and remove them) but they can only be activated from my terminal, so they will never go off. Well, unless we desperately need to blow up those areas for some reason to wipe out commies, that is. I guess they could be useful ...

Anyhow, I'm kind of wondering about this entry? The real criminals here were the Illuminati who have apparently given up being subtle, not this mythical secret society which I think was made up by some deranged clone. The stories about it staging disasters to gain power and influence in the aftermath are even more absurd. Luckily, I don't think this will be all that bad, unless your sectors are in total ruins. Clone lines have already begun to start up, and even though we weren't able to terminate all the insane mutant psychopaths who pretended to be clones of me, they will only make up a projected 2.718281828459045% of the total population by the end of the daycycle, which is slightly less than the natural treasonous clone level from beforehand. I have also redesignated them as Spam-R-MAN to avoid anyone confusing them with me any longer, and standard orders for our troubleshooting teams will be to terminate any of them they see on sight. This shouldn't be hard, as even a lowly RED should be able to spot an insane mutant psychopath when they see one. Unless we raise the clearance required for that.

Lastly, I have recovered the stolen ID C/ARD. With a bit of hard work, I hope that we can all put this disaster behind us and move forward to a bright and glorious future in which all traitors will be executed. All hail Friend Computer!

  1. I replaced the on-file Memomax for myself with a copy of the Manifesto Out of Space and Time, as any real Omega-U would know where to get the REAL Memomax for himself as part of the base instincts encoded in his genome. (1)

  2. This appears to have been some kind of disaster magnet or another in an account in the Manifesto Out of Space and Time. I highly doubt that it could have any basis in reality, considering the source. If you're wondering, I let Friend Computer analyze the manifesto to find this link, as I would not want to go insane like Drake-U-LAH's prior clone, since Friend Computer is immune to the manifesto's ill effects. (2)

  3. A slang term for Diecommitol, a blood-clotting drug. (3)

  4. Apparently some Old Reckoning term for using a treasonous mutation (4)

-- Omega-U-MAN-5


Don't worry about Party_Omega. Its intended activation, if it would have worked at all, was nipped in the bud - see Xavier_Central's commentary. The Complex at large doesn't even know it was brought up.

It's too bad that the residents of MAN sector neglected to wait for proper confirmation of its initiation. Perhaps you need to teach them to pay more attention to policies & procedures.

-- Err-U-DYT-9

No wonder. You appear to have been Outside this whole time...

-- Omega-U-MAN-5

I haven't been Outside in yearcycles. I was nearly killed by the Magic_Hate_Ball in DYT sector, remember?

-- Err-U

Really. How ... interesting ...

-- Omega-U-MAN-5


I've run a textual analysis on this entry, and there's a 58.9% chance that this is not, in fact, Omega-U-MAN-5, but rather someone else hacking his identity with the ID CA/RD. Exercise caution. A crack squad of Green_Bonnets is en route to investigate.

-- Jan-U-ARY-31


Let me guess. You used a faulty ZRT_Treason_Analyzer? Figures...

-- Omega-U-MAN-5

No, this wasn't treason analysis, just identity analysis. Level Three Algorithmicizer, straight from CPU. It's pretty sweet.

-- Jan-U


2013-06-13 14:00