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Whitener Compounds

The Whitener Compounds, on their way to TTH sector, were rerouted as described in the Arm_&_Hammer_Infiltration_Report. As our esteemed IntSec spy Jan-U noted, there was no mention of where exactly these compounds ended up going to. I have dug up some info after a hard night of database search & rescue, and what I came up with (a few eyebot logs and a motion sonar recording) indicates that the whitener was rerouted to deep storage in BBX sector and then stored until after the ToothpasteRebellion, detonation, & cleanup in neighboring BBY sector. It's interesting to note it was put in UV storage space, and would not be accessible by lower clearance clones.

Reports indicate that Arm & Hammer personnel retrieved the whitener and loaded it into some kind of modified weapon, allowing them to spray anything they desired into Ultraviolet clearance. Primarily this was done to members of A&H, and a few random infrareds they happened to pass by. This ability allowed them free reign over the complex, as they simply ordered anything in their path aside. It is possible they made it Outside, logs are unclear and appear to have been doctored. Between the timing, storage area, log erasure, and foreknowledge of events, we would have to assume that the culprit and current possessor of most of the remaining whitener compounds was either Make-U, who ordered the detonation, or more likely, Toothy-U-NIX-3, my predecessor and an all-around bastard. I remember asking Make-U to not block the Toothpasty Supplement convoys as him, but I also remember a firefight over some kind of hacking thing Toothy-3 did.. It's hard to remember because of a massive head wound I got during that battle.. I have to assume it was Toothy-3 causing the problem.. Make-U, any additional comment? Was it you after all?

These events, along with various analyst and consultant recommendations, directly lead to yesterday's surprise outright ban of whitener compounds, even for Ultraviolet clearance citizens. Such action may have been a bit premature, considering that the order has made it completely illegal for any citizen to take possession of the illicit powder.

Several brave clones were terminated shortly after trying to force the situation by ignoring their lack. Apparently, if there is such a thing as GAMMA_Clearance, no clone with that designation was in the vicinity to solve the problem of the unmovable substance.

The Computer is now having Vulture troops erect barriers and laser turrets around all known supplies of the compounds and will simply be put under guard indefinitely.

And we have today's announcement, where the computer has adopted and made official my suggestion to solve the whitened teeth problem once and for all - from now on every clone's teeth shall be dyed to match their clearance. Infrareds will have black teeth (as if they didn't already), Yellows will have yellow teeth, etc.. It will make for a much more interesting PLC toothpaste division, methinks. And frankly, it's a much more realistic solution than the one promoted by the Zero_Teeth_Movement.

-- Toothy-U-NIX-4 (not the treacherous 3)

Refs: Arm_&_Hammer_Infiltration_Report, ToothpasteRebellion, GAMMA_Clearance, Zero_Teeth_Movement

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2013-06-13 14:00