Demolition Order
#32A/74 - 43491 pg. 8
Equipment to be Demolished:
- 7 Chef-bots with Special Beverage Instructions
- 4 Vats
- 22 Mixers
- 5 Supercoolant Containers
- 32 Red Jumpsuits with "B4 4U" logos
- 32 Man-sized garbage bags (do not open, highly toxic)
- 32 "No-Slip" Shoes (Red clearance)
- 61 "No-Trip" Laces (Red clearance)
- 1 High-Capacity Data Storage Device
- 3 Bucky-Test Tubes
- 16 Liquid Dispenser/Feeder Tubes
- 1 Mega-Speed Can Creator
- 1 Mega-Speed Can Filler
- 1 Mega-Speed Can Sealer
3297 Meters of Conveyer Belt & associated rollers.
Demolish Method:
- Acid Dunk (X)
- Burial ( )
- Crush (X)
- Demagnetization (X)
- Immolation ( )
- Reactor Core Shielding (X)
- Recycling ( )
- Vulture Trooper Target Practice ( )
Reason for Request:
- Project cancelled. Potentially dangerous material.
Pre-Demolition Notes:
They want a Galvanic_Accelerant_Dip and reactor core shielding? Is that really a good idea?
Noted by: Inigo-R-ANT
Post-Demolition Notes:
Completed as requested. Weird order though. Those Chef-bots and equipment were in perfect condition. A quick hose-down with a mild Acidophizz solution and they would have been as good as new. Still, orders are orders. Oh, and we only found 31 jumpsuits. The materials were demagnetized, subjected to a Galvanic_Accelerant_Dip, crushed, and then the remaining debris shipped to RON sector for application to their reactor core. What a waste.
Noted by: Inigo-R-ANT
Copy 5 of 5: Please forward this page to Technical Services if Bot Demolition is Required.
I'm including this because I'm starting to think it may be relevant. It came in shortly before the incident at Nuclear_Facility_RON-372/B. I'm hoping CPU might have the rest of the form so we can see who authorized it.
-- Watt-U
Refs: B4,Galvanic_Accelerant_Dip, Nuclear_Facility_RON-372/B
Commentary:
One of the cross-refs leads to an Old Reckoning database which suggests - get this! - that inadequate reactor shielding leads to mutation. I know it's a totally bizarre idea, wacky, off the wall, but still... might there be some truth to the notion? Hey, you guys in Power and R&D, any thoughts?
-- Jan-U-ARY-31
I'll rustle up some guinea pigs and we can see.
-- Paul-U-LEG-5
There are several contradictory Documentaries on this particular subject, if I recall correctly. Personally, I find the idea that a "little bit of radiation" can "lead to mutations" akin to claiming that a "little bit of having a grenade go off in your face" can "lead to permanent Total_Oral_Cleansing"; that is, it might be true in a sense, but largely moot, since dead is dead. I am not a specialist in this area, however, and agree that our esteemed colleagues in Power (or Tech or whatever they call themselves these days) and R&D should weigh in on the matter before their silence is taken as some sort of conspiracy.
As for the items on this particular Demolition Order, I put forward the following thoughts to stir debate, without admitting to any actual prior knowledge of this Demolition Order nor claiming any responsibility for the destruction (or lack of destruction) of its contents:
Were these Chef-Bots running out-of-date Legacy_software? For example, might their progamming have included an obsolete list of the Thirty-one_Official_Flavors? If so, they would be incapable of rendering a proper Whole_Oral_Experience, and that might have been considered sufficient reason to demolish.
Regarding the missing "B4 4U" jumpsuit: I note, with detached interest, Brush-U's rather extreme enthusiasm for B4-related promotional clothing in other entries within this report. I'm not saying he (or his staff) took this jumpsuit, mind you. In fact, I'm sure, given ample time and Internal Security attention, Brush-U could list any number of alternative explanations.
The latter few items on that list strongly resemble, in my opinion, the sort of equipment one would have or use in a Chapstick_Factory.
All in all, Watt-U, an interesting find on your part. I commend you for your thoroughness and eagerly look forward to discovering what you're really trying to hide, by distracting us with this tidbit.
-- Knok-U-OUT-5
Speaking for Power: To say that "inadequate reactor shielding" "leads to mutations" is perhaps overstating the problem. Yes, the data shows that a substandard amount of (or a defective type of) reactor shielding can immerse the relevant sector in levels of radiation between 15% and 6000% higher than considered acceptable pursuant to Safety Regulations and Ping-Pong Rules Section 13013/b, but:
A) No correlation between overdoses of radiation and expression of treasonous mutant abilities has been found, barring the treasonous "Metastasizing Growths Leading to Hair Loss and Cessation of Life Functions", which is technically filed as a Medical Misdemeanor and is punishable by brainscrubbing, although this is rarely carried out for obvious reasons.
This inadequate shielding occurs in fewer than 3% of reactors annually, well within the 5% rule for Civic Mishaps Category 5 (Waste and Electromagnetics).
-- Servs-U
Where did that High-Capacity Data Storage Device come from? What data was stored upon it? The form in question tells us nothing about the data, if indeed the device contained any data at the time of its destruction. Was it properly backed up? Was it important? Was it treasonous? The disappearance of potentially sensitive data is most disturbing, probably treasonous, and certainly actionable under Regulation 14/1A (Universal Code Ownership Mandate A).
-- Jan-U