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Verbiage Transmogrifier

The Verbiage Transmogrifier takes a simple set of text input and breaks it into paragraph-long chunks. It compares each chunk to a table of rules to validate the text against. If the text fails to meet the rule, an associated action is triggered. This action can be nearly anything, from deleting the affected text to rewriting it in third person to changing the all pronouns from male to female to initiating the Transmogrifier's Self-Destruct_Sequence. It can process roughly 1 megabyte of data in 1 cycle for up to 4 rules. Speed decreases logarithmically with the number of rules being processed (max 16), especially if they have sub-rules or sub-sub-rules.

This core engine is fed data from a form processing engine fed by a command processor which interfaces to the image sources and the UI code. The command processor can be invoked indirectly through system messages or over the FuzzyPak packet network.

But enough about the software (though I must admit I am tempted to ramble on in much more detail, having written it and all). The hardware is the truly hardcore part of the Verbiage Transmogrifier. It's got an atom scanner. It's got a sightBot. It's got a form writer. It's got a REALLY bright green clearance laser. It has a tacnuke shell inside to power the unit and handle the Self-Destruct_Sequence. And it supposedly has a prototype "cloaking" device. I cannot explain what exactly that means, but trust me, it's excellent.

The VT has been put to good use censoring, editing, manipulating, or otherwise changing information. It's been priceless to the ever-manipulative Information_Distortion experts at FOX News Sector, as well as other Wizards_of_ID. I often use it myself to strip treasonous thoughts or statements out of my posts. Oops, missed one there. Disregard that last part.

-- Toothy-U-NIX-4

Refs: Self-Destruct_Sequence, Information_Distortion, Wizards_of_ID


A "cloaking" device? That would be, hmm, a device to keep you dry in the event of falling water? I'd think it would be easier to get Technical Services to fix the broken pipe.

Typical of R&D to attach unnecessary hardware to a perfectly serviceable system.

-- Jan-U-ARY-31

Do not underestimate the power of cloaking. Some primitive "cloaking" tests conducted on PLC clerks show a 30% increase in confidence and a 20% decrease in number of successful complaints. The effects are doubled if you pipe organ music through the loudspeakers as well. I plan on testing fog machines next.

-- Drake-U-LAH-4

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2013-06-13 14:00