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One part medical problem, one part treason1, and ultimately one of the major causes of the Toothpaste_Disaster, Tooth Decay remains the most persistent and tenacious suboptimalit in the Complex.

There's been a lot of talk about it. Some blame it on tiny Commie_Mutant_Traitors. Some say it's caused by highly acidic substances such as those found in Bouncy Bubble Beverage. We all know it shows up when a citizen fails to maintain proper Baseline_Dental_Health. Dozens of projects have been aimed at eliminating the problem: cleansers such as Toothpasty_Supplement_#5 and Decay_Preventatives; hygiene programs and devices such as ADC, Codename:_Ironbrush, and Denta-Bots; surgical replacements like the CyberChomp_4000.

Despite all these efforts, Tooth Decay persists. More importantly to the focus of this committee, many of the projects centered on this problem were ultimately contributors to the confluence of events that became the Toothpaste_Disaster. Which forces us to ask: have we underestimated the problem? All this attention, all these brains and resources, all this effort, devoted to wiping it out, and still it thrives! Could it be the Unspeakable_Treason?

Frankly, I'm not the one to answer that question, but I'm going to throw my support behind a rather radical idea currently gaining ground in R&D: a genetic solution. Most efforts at preventing Tooth Decay have focused on hygiene, maintenance, or post-decanting surgical replacement. And this is the reason they do not work! They treat the symptom, not the problem. And the problem is that clones have teeth. Teeth are weak. Teeth decay. Surgical replacements are on the right track, but are prone to be overly complicated, painful, and occasionally fatal. No, what we need to do is to start growing clones with a new form of dental structure, one inherently immune to decay, so that straight from decanting they will no longer be vulnerable to this insidious treason. Once we move full-scale into this plan, it would only be a matter of time before Tooth Decay is just an unpleasant memory, and Alpha Complex will become even more of a utopia than it already is.

Refs: ADC, Baseline_Dental_Health, Codename:_Ironbrush, Commie_Mutant_Traitors, CyberChomp_4000, Decay_Preventatives, Denta-Bots, Toothpaste_Disaster, Toothpasty_Supplement_#5, Unspeakable_Treason

-- Servs-U-RIT-7

  1. Actually, since Tooth Decay is a preventable medical problem, it is technically two parts treason. (1)


"And the problem is that clones have teeth"? That sounds like something we'd hear from the Zero_Teeth_Movement...

-- Jan-U-ARY-31


2013-06-13 14:00