To: PasteBot Devteam
Cc: Toothpaste Disaster Report Panel
Subject: You Suck
Dear PasteBot Development Team,
Ah, the PasteBot. Another solution to a problem that never existed. But what else would one expect from the same team that brought us the WipeYourAssBot. My colon is still sore from my last encounter with that thing. Now every time I cleanse my sphincter, I think of you guys. Idiots.
Seriously, were dental hygiene enthusiasts having such trouble applying toothpaste to their brush that this project was deemed necessary? Toothpasty_Supplement_#5 is sold in convenient, easy to use tubes. Give it a squeeze, it's on the brush. Nothing to it! Necessity is supposed to be the mother of invention... but I don't know what crazy bitch gave birth to your PasteBots. Stupidity, perhaps? Insanity? Treasonous Mentality? Take your pick.
For the reasons stated above, the PasteBots were destined to be useless - contributing nothing to our Whole_Oral_Experience. Therefore, the very least you could have done was made certain that these bots were also harmless. No such luck. I must ask, how hard is it to program a bot to dispense Toothpasty Supplement onto a toothbrush? Don't get me wrong, your creations excelled at dispensing supplement. They dispensed it on walls, on floors, into electronic equipment, into the faces of innocent clones (at high velocity) - damn near everywhere but onto a toothbrush.
What were you thinking? What the hell were you thinking?
As you may know, a panel has been assembled to determine the cause of the Toothpaste_Disaster; to assign blame to those who are culpable. I am a member of this panel, and for weeks we have tiptoed around the issue. Enough is enough. You want to know what caused the Toothpaste Disaster? PasteBots caused the Toothpaste Disaster. What started off as a minor incident kept on escalating because every single attempt to remedy the situation was frustrated by your disgusting, paste flinging robots. Paste is on your hands, gentlemen. You people give R&D a bad name.
And you're ugly.
I'd be happy to add these miserable fools to the Project Hole lineup for my Eternal Agony procedure. Consider it a personal favor... plus I need a few more basses.
Dese sound like potentially accident-prone guys t'me. Let me know if'n youse want me t' "look inta it" further.