[ParanoiaLexicon] [TitleIndex] [WordIndex

Lenin's Tooth

The revelation that an Old Reckoning artifact called Lenin's Tooth was held in a Gamma_Class_Security_Field in one of our own Blue-level facilities was a rude shock to me. I am quite sure that this information was classified as historical information because of incompetence instead of malice and treason. Had I received this information before the Toothpaste_Disaster, a lot of the unpleasantness might have been avoided.

In particular, the incident with League_of_Extraordinary_Dadaists was entirely preventable. The Workers_for_the_Fourth_Intersector_Committee has been thoroughly infiltrated, and would have been able to counter the dadaist threat.

Moreover, the artifact in question is quite definitely not Lenin's Tooth, since the original Lenin's Tooth was designed 17 yearcycles ago as a decoy by an R&D team lead by Enkid-I-3. Lenin's Tooth was a part of a gigantic operation to flush out Commie traitors in several sectors. The project involved the building of a new train line from FIN sector to PTR sector. The arrival of the decoy tooth at the PTR sector station was leaked to suspected traitors. The resulting firefight resulted in the elimination of 1,917 traitors, while the decoy Lenin's Tooth was destroyed in an uncontrolled plasma generator malfunction.

The original decoy Lenin's Tooth was meticulously constructed using the best available information from classified archives. As the material in the Gatzmann_Archives confirms, the average height of Lenin was 18.48 meters, and the tooth was scaled accordingly. In contrast, the molar held in the Gamma_Class_Security_Field is of a regular size for a clone - a clear indication of a fake.

However, since the supposed Lenin's Tooth may indeed have some interesting properties, it should be transferred to a more secure location ASAP. Since the R&D facilities of RUK sector were hardly affected by the recent unpleasantness, they would be a highly logical choice.

-- Enkid-U-RUK-4

Refs:Gamma_Class_Security_Field, Gatzmann_Archives, League_of_Extraordinary_Dadaists, Toothpaste_Disaster, Workers_for_the_Fourth_Intersector_Committee

Commentary:

So the False_Teeth_Conspiracy was trying to capture a false Lenin's Tooth? How ironic.

-- Jan-U-ARY-31

I've done some research on this "false" Lenin's Tooth, and there's no records of it being manufactured. Anywhere. The closest thing I've found is a "Confiscated from Team XR-61 during Mission CST.696 Debriefing" entry from 6 yearcycles ago.

The only details on Mission CST.696 are "Long-Range Expedition to Sector -3AC". However, the personnel roster states that Dursch-I-WTZ-6 served as the main Briefing/Debriefing Officer. Dursch-U-WTZ, that wouldn't happen to be one of your clone brothers, would it?

-- Drake-U-LAH-2

Yes, my clone brother was the Briefing/Debriefing officer for Mission CST.696. But if you note Notification of Unlawful Termination Report 8474-JF38-WTZ-6, an unidentified traitor assassinated me during the mission debriefing. Sadly, my memory back-ups don't include the debriefing so there is no report of the Mission, nor identification of the traitor who launched the MiniHappiNuk. The bodies of the Mission team were incinerated and no identifiable remains were discovered, so it is unclear which of them were the commie traitors. The Computer had their next clones Twiddled for good measure. Still, I wish I knew which it was. Lousy Commie still owes me 1,000 credits for my clone replacement! And after that I was transfered from HPD&MC, of course...

-- Dursch-U-WTZ-8

...to where? Your lack of a Service Group is highly suspicious. Perhaps it was a FART gone bad?

And you're saying that this "fake" Lenin's Tooth survived a ground zero strike? It must be more dangerous than we thought.

-- Drake-U-LAH-2

No, I believe you are confusing that fake Tooth with the one of the duplicate fake tooths. I'm sure it couldn't have survived the exlposion. But again, my memories of the incident are incomplete. And to answer your other question (which certianly belongs in another forum) Dursch-I-WTZ-7 was assigned a position in R&D.

-- Dursch-U

LexiconKL


2013-06-13 13:58