False Teeth Conspiracy
The False Teeth Conspiracy is the conspiracy which was behind the sabotage of the CyberChomp_4000s. As reported previously, defective Asimov circuits from Defective_Batch_ACA675T09-XXXX were to blame, but what was not reported previously was that their implantation was deliberate. We now know that the Commie_Mutant_Traitors did this both to cause mayhem, and to distract us from their real goal.
Don't get me wrong, the chaos was part of the goal, as we believe that they may have had help from Death Leopard, PURGE and perhaps other Secret_Societies_Involved_In_the_Toothpaste_Disaster, and control of mechanized masticating machines would no doubt be a bonus to Pro Tech, but I believe that I now know the real goal of the Commie_Mutant_Traitors. Specifically, I believe that they wanted to divert Friend Computer from their effort to steal Lenin's_Tooth, a fabled Old Reckoning artifact of communism. At least for the time being, Lenin's_Tooth is being held in a BLUE clearance R&D facility which has been doing all sorts of experimental procedures on it to learn more about communism and mutations, so as to fight them more effectively.
We can only hope that the Commie_Mutant_Traitors, as there have been all manner of treasonous rumours circulating about Lenin's_Tooth of late. Fortunately, it is being stored in a Gamma_Class_Security_Field, so as to prevent tampering and, to a lesser extent, due to some weak-minded R&D clones and their superstitious rumours about the "commie mutant powers" Lenin's_Tooth has developed from the R&D procedures.