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Several unusual items were found by a roving Patrolbot in GTM sector, approximately 28 hourcycles after Make-U had given up and declared martial law in CRY and vertically adjoining BBY sectors, and making the unconscionable mistake of revoking standard toothpaste rations (proven by IntSec to be violently addictive) on all days with non-prime monthcycle indices. This action led directly to the tragic ToothpasteRebellion, as CRY & BBY sector clones began to resist computer orders and ended in the computer's wise and and necessary termination of over 11,400 clones. Leading this group was an apparently Blue AND Infrared citizen, unidentified by the computer, and exhibiting insane behavior and reckless encouragement of treason. His uniform bore a symbol matching several of the ItemsInQuestion, further examination of which proved conclusively that this mysterious cloaked clone not only planned this revolt but also for a brief time simultaneously led a separate group trying to prevent it.

Before losing his mind to the ravages of a fatal 560k Rads of B4 exposure, he had been a well-celebrated market researcher that The Computer had, in it's most perfect wisdom, appointed to consult on the consumer taste profile of the soon-to-be-released beverage.

The detonation of the CRY-BBY sectors caused trouble for Power Services and Tech Services even several sectors away, and caused several terminations in adjoining superheated areas. One clone figure survived the calamity long enough to be shot by award-winning Troubleshooter Peter-G-UNN-5. The only words he spoke were reported to be "I am Batclone". I tried to warn Make-U when I first heard the CommitteesDecisionOnTheItemsInQuestion, that it would be trouble to cut back on rations, but it was too late.

-- Toothy-U-Nix-4

Refs: ToothpasteRebellion, ItemsInQuestion, B4, CommitteesDecisionOnTheItemsInQuestion

Once again, the "11,400 terminations" number is used, when subsequent investigations have repeatedly shown that the true toll of the ToothpasteRebellion was nearly an order of magnitude greater. Why does everyone downplay the excessive use of force that Armed Forces exercised here? Not all the victims of their indiscriminate massacre were legimitate Tooth-Rebels, officially identified and slated by the Computer; tens of thousands of non-Rebel clones were destroyed. Now, I'll be the first to admit the odds are good that many of these clones were guilty of other executable Treasonous Action Related Program Activities (TARPA), but we can't just go around killing clones for treason without knowing which treason they should be killed for. It throws Internal Security's entire Self Audit Termination Categorization Assessment Benchmark (SATCAB) into disarray, when we have clones being "terminated" without a corresponding record of verified treasonous offense. Granted, the occasional over-eager Troubleshooter team here or there will vanish in the margin of error, but 80,000 uncategorized deaths in a single afternoon...?

-- Knok-U-OUT-5

Of course, now that I think about it, perhaps Internal Security is the one behind the downplaying of the final death toll-- not Armed Forces-- since it would be in their interest to sweep these mistakes under the scrubot (and away from their audit) and pretend they never heard about them. If only we had a member of Internal Security on this review board, who could give us some straight answers on the matter. Jan-U, you wouldn't happen to know of any IntSec plants on this commission, would you?

-- Knok-U-OUT-5

If there are any Internal Security agents on the commission, Knok-U, they've failed to fill out the necessary paperwork. And as far as I'm concerned, if they haven't filed a 099/FL37CH/007 Registration of Multiple Service Group Affiliation (Restricted), then they can't possibly be a real IntSec plant. I'm sure you see what I mean.

-- Jan-U-ARY-31

Note, my esteemed colleague Knok-U, that I did not say "exactly 11,400 terminations". Also note also that in light of Make-U's use of PLC's new EZ/Bake Pre-Emptive Bulk Termination Form 553-3/43, the vaporization of all clones in sectors CRY and BBY was technically authorized, and had been approved by the time the Tic/Tac/Nuke & Cream Cheese dispensers rolled to their appointed positions and began dispensing. Assuredly the residue formerly known as BBY sector and it's neighbor was filled with clones guilty of treason by proximity to treason and everyclone involved would have been less efficiently terminated in time, if they had not been dispensed with during this incident.

-- Toothy-U-NIX-4


2013-06-13 13:52