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Zero Teeth Movement

Treasonously, Jan-U-ARY-31 seems to be a tad negligent in delegating this report. That, or she delegated it to someone who was terminated. In any event, it is up to me to take over for the gross incompetance of my fellow ULTRAVIOLETs. In any event, this "movement" isn't really so much a popular uprising1 as it was a bunch of commie mutant traitors. Best known for having killed Flo-U-RID-3, they have been involved in all manner of treasonous activities in at least the LAH and ROM sectors. Hopefully, they will soon be eliminated, whenever Drake-U gets around to it.

  1. Every loyal clone, except perhaps Dursh-U, surely knows that Friend Computer is the most popular in this complex, so no uprising could EVER be "popular." Rumors to the contrary are even more treasonous than usual. (1)

-- Omega-U-MAN-5

I did not delegate this report to anybody, you imbecile! I simply acknowledged its relevance to the Toothpaste_Disaster; it was up to others to elaborate on the subject. How dare you accuse me of treason?! Your arrogance and ineptitude are a cancer upon our Alpha Complex.

Not that it matters, though, since according to CPU records, you're dead. Dead clones have neither rights nor privileges. The clone line has passed you by, citizen, and you will simply have to cope, most likely through your long-awaited Reconstitution_and_Recycling. Kill-U-DED-5 will arrive at your location shortly with Vulture_Squadron_Bravo_9. Please go along quietly. Omega-U-MAN-1338 will thank you for your forebearance.

-- Jan-U-ARY-31

The vulture squadron appears to have been hit by a TacNuke. I blame the commies. In any event, you may have noticed that Friend Computer never actually activated #6 ... only the weak-minded fall for ID C/ARD scams, or so I thought ... And as for CPU, they seem to be negligent in processing my forms. I filed every last bit of paperwork that could ever possibly have been required, and I should know. I even filed Termination Vouchers on every single clone in the complex, just in case they were part of the commie conspiracies against me, as well as an ULTRAVIOLET Permission To Commit Any Treasons, Including Unspeakable Treasons Form, which was thankfully never actually used or required.

UPDATE: I've just been informed that CPU processed my forms, and all is completely squared away with Friend Computer. Sadly, commies hit the facility which housed them with a TacNuke shortly thereafter (but NOT before my paperwork was submitted to Friend Computer). Clearly commies don't want to allow me to clear my name. Damn commies.

-- Omega-U-MAN-5


2013-06-13 14:00