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Yahallbesmilin

My sector is in tatters. Infrareds are wreaking havoc. While my cronies finish loading up the flybot, heed this warning about Yahallbesmilin:

The benefits stated are grossly inaccurate. They're all smiling, but with homicidal mania, and rather than dampening their mutations, it's given them scary mind powers. Brains are exploding, citizens are spontaneously combusting, telekinetic slugthrowers are chasing people through the halls, and we are being barraged by telepathic Commie propaganda.

It's all Omega-U-MAN-1337's fault. Homologous_Psychic_Dissidents_&_Mutant_Citizens plants changed the main ingredients for the second run to Xynonull and some enhanced version of Hydropsionic Acid. Then Omega inserted it into the Food Vats right under our noses by relabeling them "Kelp Flavoring". (I can't believe there's a Reverse Placebo Placement 2873A-K form that lets him do that.)

There was enough Yehallbesmilin made to contaminate 4 sectors' worth of food vats, but I couldn't determine which sectors the other 3 shipments were sent to. The selection of Sector LAH as one wasn't a coincidence. Test your food vats now. Although it's too late to prevent the tainting, there may be time for pre-emptive cleansings.

If not, escape while you still can!

-Merely going on an extended vacation,
Drake-U-LAH-4

Refs: Homologous_Psychic_Dissidents_&_Mutant_Citizens, Xynonull


Commentary:

I did some double-checking and uncovered not one, but two suspicious introductions of chemicals to the DYT sector Food Vats. The second was one of the other four shipments of Yahallbesmilin Mk 2. The first was a "pre-emptive anti-treason supplement", listed as originating from WZJ Sector R&D.

It seems that WZJ Sector R&D - an obscure branch, usually massively underfunded - has been working virtually non-stop since before the Toothpaste_Disaster on developing a counteragent to break down Hydropsionic Acid and its derivatives. They recently succeeded - where "succeeded" means "the chemical does what it's supposed to, and is not toxic, explosive, radioactive, or mutagenic"; if you omit the latter requirements, they'd have "succeeded" long ago - and received orders from Friend Computer to surrender their initial batches of the stuff to an (unidentified) INDIGO citizen accompanied by a number of ScrubBots.

Testing of the DYT sector vats reveals a lot of Xynonull, and some other crud that's about what one might expect from broken-down Hydropsionic Acid and a catalyst of some sort. There has been no rioting in DYT sector, though the Xynonull has been having its usual euphoric/cognition-dampening effects, and a few GREEN citizens have noted that the Hearty-Hearty BrickLoaf tastes a bit tangier than usual.

I am uncertain as to why the DYT sector Vats were treated, but the LAH sector ones were not, though conjectures are of course possible. Regardless, Drake's advice to test your Vats is prudent.

-- Err-U-DYT-9


Clearly, this is an unapproved use of Yahallbesmilin by the treasonous #1337 who has now been terminated. Nothing to see here.

-- Omega-U-MAN-5

LexiconYZ


2013-06-13 14:00