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Project Finite Hole

"We can do better than those idiots."
-Unofficial Motto of Project Finite Hole

Picture a dimly-lit laboratory in some forgotten area designation. A pair of scientists have finished their overnight testing early and are passing the time until the door is unlocked in the morningcycle. They sit around the table, passing a beaker of AAA and reminiscing about the old daycycles, when citizens were citizens, bots were bots, and executions left stains for a weekcycle. The discussion drifts to Project_Infinite_Hole, just canceled a year ago.

Scientist #1: "You know, I was on that. Almost lost an arm to an Acidophizz spill."
Scientist #2: "You got lucky. My predecessor lost his torso in that work! Thank Computer they finally canceled it."
Scientist #1: "You pinko! That project was vital! I was devastated when it was canceled. No more daycycles operating heavy machinery, no more towering mounds of dirt, no more gape-jawed Infrareds staring at us in awe."
Scientist #2: "I do miss the machinery. We'd be moving it through the transtubes and all the citizens would be running and screaming. 'AIIIEEE! AIIIEEE!' We were on top of the Complex."
Scientist #1: "You know, we could do it again..."

The road to HEL is paved with Freudian intentions.

Make-U-CRY's call to purify AC's water supply provided an excuse. A group of scientists volunteered for the assignment. With a UV's backing, they had no problem getting all the funding and equipment they needed. Their early attempt to pacify an impatient Make-U-CRY led to his abandonment of the project. (See Aqua_Purity_Emergency_Sediment_and_Chemical_Interception_Team.)

Project Finite Hole (PFH) should've suffered an obscure death then, but an unknown source in HPD&MC adopted it to "ensure the purity of Alpha Complex's fluid supply". (Personally, I believe they were using it as an excuse to request more construction workers.) They made a deal with Power Services to supply the necessary power and transportation support. IntSec came on soon after, citing a need to "ensure that HPD&MC ensures the purity of Alpha Complex's fluid supply". Bizz-I-BEE-10 was put in charge of the whole mess.

Surviving Computer records show that PFH was an orderly, if disruptive, project at first. The only major concern was about the high rate of supply theft, mainly vehicles and explosives. Then Project Infinite Hole (PIH) was resurrected.

A few barbs exchanged on the Inter-Service Forums were nothing compared to the fisticuffs that broke out when both projects tried to dig up the same zone. Escalating conflicts embroiled Service Groups and Secret Societies alike. Rather than bore you with the details, I've listed a few of the incidents that led to the attack on Nuclear Facility RON-372/A:

After that last incident, 99% of the members of both projects erased any affiliations they had with the project. Luckily you can always count on that 1% to screw things up. A half-weekcycle of extensive chain interrogations later, I have uncovered 491 members of both projects. All of them have been put to work entertaining me.2

Of these 491 members, most of them follow the Secret Society/Service Group schisms outlined. Two important connections came up, though. First, six of the PFH members were previously WhirledRON_Energy employees. Second, over a half-dozen members on both projects claim to be underlings for the Voodoo_Economists.

  1. During my interrogations, I discovered some interesting facts about this incident. I forwarded them to Servs-U-RIT. I assume his delays in posting them are due to double-checking. (1)

  2. Due to negative reaction to previous details on my methods, I have refrained on elaborating on them here. Rest assured that what Ging-I-VTS went through is nothing compared to my Infinite Agony treatment. (2)

Refs: CyberHack_Programming_Helmet, Four_Reactor_Foam_Flood, Ging-I-VTS-5, KriegsList, Project_Infinite_Hole, WhirledRON_Energy, Voodoo_Economists

See also: Aqua_Purity_Emergency_Sediment_and_Chemical_Interception_Team

-- Drake-U-LAH-2


As usual, I have to treat with extreme skepticism anything told to you during your "interrogation" dalliances. When we want actual and useful information from Citizens, we turn them over to Internal Security. They are the professionals that the Computer trusts to get this sort of work done. Anything else is a waste of valuable High Programmer time-- yours, for playing games with the peasants, and ours, for making us read more nonsense about Voodoo_Economists and such. The mere fact that you've apparently spent the last several days torturing approximately 500 people, the end result of which is "some of them claim to be underlings", demonstrates an inefficiency that would be positively treasonous, if anyone actually ever relied on LAH Sector for anything mission-critical.

-- Knok-U-OUT-6

Regarding Footnote 1: Indeed, I am double- and even triple-checking the "interesting details" you passed along. Naturally, I would not hesitate to post any verifiable facts.

-- Servs-U


2013-06-13 14:00