Latent Mutation Suppressant Deficiency
Latent Mutation Supressant Deficiency, also known as LMSD, is one of the leading medical indicators of Communism. This informational fact sheet has been prepared so that we can better assess how to stop this insidious medical menace.
What is LMSD? ------------- While most clones are able to tolerate mutagens at Computer approved levels, some clones posess weak genetic profiles which make them vulnerable to even low levels of mutagenic agents. LMSD is an immunodeficiency disease wherein clones are insufficiently able to resist mutagens at normal levels. As such, clones with this deficiency are prone to develop mutations and thus fall prey to Communism. While not all clones may develop problems, this condition must be constantly monitored, lest it become active. What are the symptoms of LMSD? ------------------------------ While it is latent, there are few or no symptoms. Only experimental procedures which expose clones to acceptable levels of mutagens for extended periods are currently available to detect this deficiency. However, once it becomes active, clones with LMSD are identified by the following symptoms: * Paranoid delusions * Communist sympathies * Treasonous mutations * Mistrust of Friend Computer * Severe reactions to experimental drugs * Insubordination, particuarly towards Team Leaders and Happiness Officers * Intense phobias about Reactor Shielding Duty, and nuclear power in general Thus, LMSD has a strong link with Communism, and must be treated immediately. If you know someclone exhibiting these symptoms, do not hesitate to report them to Friend Computer immediately. Can LMSD be treated? -------------------- Currently, clones with LMSD are summarily executed, and the clone vat operators work to reinforce the genetic profile to prevent the next clone from falling prey to mutagens. In rare cases, when the mutation is useful enough and the clone has a high enough clearance, they may be able to register their mutation. Even so, the genetic profile of future clones is always scrubbed so that the next few clones will be readily available. How is LMSD diagnosed? ---------------------- Research is going into an effort to diagnose this condition before it manifests, however the current methods of diagnosis generally require testing the clone's reaction to experimental drugs known to have only acceptable levels of mutagens, to test the clone's apprehension of Reactor Shielding Duty, or simply to implant the clone with experimental tracking devices and see if they show any signs of mutation or Communism.
In the mean time, I am directing more effort into ways to detect and stop the spread of this insidious deficiency. I have lowered the acceptable level of mutagenic agents for the high clearance tanks, and we are exploring the role of Yahallbesmilin as an anti-mutagenic agent, which might help keep clones of all clearance levels from falling prey to Communism. I have currently authorized dumping samples of Yahallbesmilin into low clearance clone tanks to see if this experimental drug is able to lower clone mutations the way it lowers their IQs and Communist tendencies.
I have also taken another approach, that of creating experimental traps for various mutations. In a happy accident, R&D discovered that they were able to influence the teleportation mutation with Krypton_Difluoride_Welding_Rods. Specifically, they used some rods as part of an experimental reactor, and a number of treasonous unregistered teleporters managed to teleport directly into the reactor chamber. Upon hearing of this, I commissioned the creation of a Room_Without_Doors to trap unregistered teleporting clones who fail to control their destination (and, thus, are drawn to the Krypton_Difluoride_Welding_Rods). Of course, this was only an incidental use of the rods, I'm sure that others will be found in the pending report concerning them. I have also heard of other, somewhat similar Mutant_Traps, so I cannot wait to see what else is being developed.
Ref: Mutant_Traps
-- Omega-U-MAN-5
Comments:
These so-called "medical syndromes" are a serious pain in the cerebellum. Since categorization of LMSD requires a minimum of fourteen different tests, the paperwork requirements are exponentially higher than those of directly quantifiable ailments such as ChemiLuminoOxygrin poisoning. My view is that if R&D can drill holes to the Earth's core, scan and record full genetic patterns, and devise the Zeta_Vector_Principle, they can damn well come up with a simple blood test for LMSD.
-- Jan-U-ARY-31
Interestingly enough, an attempt at this was made a number of yearcycles ago. If you can really call it an "attempt", that is - inter-service-group rivalry caused the technical portion of the project to be assigned to Armed Forces, and the paperwork reform to be assigned to Tech Services, of all groups!
This resulted in the stunningly useless combination of a blood test that killed its subject with near 100% reliability, and a form:
LMSD Test Form DO YOU HAVE LMSD? [] Yes [] No
Not even space for a signature on the thing. What a fiasco.
-- Err-U-DYT-9
This is the kind of nonsense you get when you leave PLC out of the loop on form creation. Treasonous, I tell you. Treasonous.
-- Omega-U-MAN-5