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Another fine product from BAD sector R&D labratories, CLOg (a.k.a. "The Smiling Molecule" due to its unusual shape) was a breakthrough tooth whitener/drain cleaner. The combination proved to be of invaluable assistance during the Four_Reactor_Foam_Flood. CLOg uses the clone's own mouth movements to scrape the calcium teeth clear of any obstructions. We tried to put warning lables telling clones not to swallow, but Kill-U-DED's treatese on "Warning Label Size Reduction to Redirect Warning" showed the Computer that most warning labels are generally above the average Citizens security clearance, and should not be printed in the first place. Good work, Kill-U. I have sent requests that All Aqua_Purity_Emergency_Sediment_and_Chemical_Interception_Teams be equipped with this, instead of chlorine dioxide, but have had no response from Make-U-CRY-2.

Refs: Aqua_Purity_Emergency_Sediment_and_Chemical_Interception_Team, Four_Reactor_Foam_Flood, Make-U-CRY-2

-- Screwz-U-BAD-3


Tsk! Screwz-U-BAD-3 treasonously forgot to sign their entry! Of course, they will no doubt fix it quietly and claim that my comment was mistaken... But that is when I will have to show them the true power of my DebateIsFutileResolutionForm ...

-- Omega-U-MAN-5

Or run their entries through Friend Computer's 100% efficient Spell-O-Gram document checker. It worries me that Screwz-U's R&D operatives continue to work beyond the remit generally laid down by The Computer's standard procedures and, therefore, common sense. Written warnings have never been used for any communications beneath Orange Security Clearance, which is why Friend Computer developed the colourful and entertaining "InfoGlyph: Understanding Through Big Simple Colourful Pictures" system.

-- Costin-U-MOR-8

I should point out that the PLC implementation of Kill-U's recommended course of action-- that is, no longer supplying warning labels-- has resulted in a 14% reduction in printing costs with only a 12% rise in permanently-defuctionalizing accidents (when averaged across all Security Clearances, that is; obviously the rate is much higher among INFRAREDs and reduces steadily to a mere 2% among our VIOLET Citizenry).

-- Knok-U-OUT-5

We all know that most INFRAREDs can't understand how we get the toothpaste into the tube in the first place. Info Glyphs have been so overproduced that every sticker has a sticker on it to tell you how to read the sticker. INFRAREDs can be trusted with simple words. I've proven that in my "Average Citizen Color Recognition vs. Laser Cannon Reprimand" vid. The Computer approves, and so should you.

-- Screwz-U-BAD-3

Your point might hold more weight if you hadn't withheld publication of that vid until after HPD-MindLabz sank a kajillion credits' worth of R&D vouchers into the Simplified InfoGlyph Mnemonic Protocol. If SIMP turns out to be a bust, who do you think's going to go down for Willful Disregard for Alpha Complex Public Funding (code 1147/J)? Yes, that would be you.

-- Jan-U-ARY-31

Your years in R&D, Screwz-U, seem to have distanced you from reality more than you might imagine. The lowliest security-cleared HPD&MC floor cleaner knows that reading, more often than not, is something only assumed in Citizens of higher than Yellow clearance. That's why they don't waste valuable time splicing complex subliminals into vid-channels until you hit Green clearance viewers and above. I remind you of Friend Computers mantra - "What you don't know can't hurt you (much)!".

-- Costin-U-MOR-8

Costin-U-MOR-8, are you perhaps referencing the fact that my sector spends more credits on Basic Education than your does? How shameful. My INFRAREDS can all spell the word "Radiation" by their 2nd week. "Danger" by the third. Yours, I've noticed, have a tendancy to think that Nuk-Ems go inside a reactor to heat up.

Jan-U-ARY-31, that vid was delayed only by securing the proper paperwork, and ensuring that all forms and reviews were properly filled out. Any implications that I willfully withheld vital information can be reviewed by CPU.


I admit the possibility that the delay, and the concominant endangerment of the SIMP project, can be attributed to bad timing rather than willful negligence.

-- Jan-U

Screwz-U - are you referencing the fact that my Sector doesn't waste valuable Alpha Complex time and resources on superfluous work-function disrupting education. MOR Sector has fully deployed the SIMP across all sub-sectors and Citizen comprehension of the system is enforced throughout. Positive encouragement and extra Cold Fun go a long way in this respect, and as a result productivity is up and non-essential expenditure on Clones is kept to a minimum, especially at early Clearance levels when Citizens may choose to make life-changing decisions that mean they will no longer be needing a work place, non-essential education, a home - or indeed any trappings of a Citizen living in this Sector.

-- Costin-U-MOR-8

Actually, Costin-U, I was referring to your unwillingness to embrace the Helmet_Of_Education, which simplifies the process of educating an INFRARED to around 5 minutes via the AlphaNet. I simply upload the appropriate skills for a few groups, then sit back as they come out feeling refreshed. So there's a 2% chance of Neuro-Cascade_Failure. I simply believe that an informed Citizen is a happier, more productive Citizen. Since implementation, I have 12% fewer Requests for Self Termination, production of Assembly Line products are up by at least 8%, Smile-UP Happiness pill consumption is down by 5%, which means I'll have a surplus for you to buy when your INFRAREDS are so depressed they jump into a food vat, like last weekcycle. Never found her, did you? Pity. You might have understood why that particular clone filed their last Sector Transfer Request Form.

-- Screwz-U-BAD-3

I believe she was found on a service call for the large-chunk strainer. We figured the simplest way to handle it, both paperwork and clone, is to simply redirect the outflow to the Soylent production line. Everything is, shall we say, going through the system as we speak.

-- Watt

Ah, Soylent Red. Made from the best stuff in the Complex.

-- Screwz-U-BAD-3

Whilst I would certainly wouldn't want to call my esteemed collegue a stinking, dirty, commie liar, I must say that no mention of ChemiLuminoOxygrin ever came across my desk. Then again, this could be because I was out and about doing important work, like keeping Alpha Complex free from commie filth and didn't have to grow fat behind a desk devising useless intitatives.

-- Make-U-CRY-2


2013-06-13 13:52