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Fluoride Incident

The Fluoride Incident is, without a doubt, the greatest Communist plot ever successfully initiated against The Computer, Alpha Complex and all clones.

To begin with, fluoride is an additive that is very useful in strengthening a clone’s teeth. As a phase two of the Automotive Dental Care (ADC), Brush-U-TTH-32 had the additive cycled into the water vats and reclamation systems throughout Alpha Complex. Quickly the Dental Health Values throughout the Complex improved by as much as 42%. The program was declared a success, and Brush-U received commendations for his excellent plan. 3 tons of fluoride was piped into water services each monthcycle, and clones were smiling whiter the entire time.

And then.

And then the Communist conspiracy struck. Popular reports linked the attack to Roy-G-BIV, of course, but we know that is very unlikely. How-R-YOU-2 has been peripherally linked to the event, although there is little evidence of linking him directly to it. Accessing the fluoride additive at its source, the mutant commie traitors switched the wholesome, healthy dental supplement with a vile and powerful mind-control drug. The drug, once ingested, produced mind-warping hallucinations of fantastic and horrific scenes. Aliens invasion, remnants of ancient wars, and monsters from the mythology of Old-Reckoning days. Finally the whole of Alpha Complex was thrown into chaos, misbelieving that Friend Computer itself crashed and failed us!

Those were dark daycycles, lost in the madness. Surely I am not alone in remembering the horror and thinking that we would never see our Friend Computer again.

But at last, on the fifth day Friend Computer directed the brave troubleshooters Cost-I-KYN, Aallst-O-NNN and Alan-V-RNY to the MGS Sector R&D where the experimental Psychobots were being developed. Using aggressive Personality_Modification procedures, the Computer, through the Psychobots were able to restore order to the Complex, removing most of the inappropriate memories from the affected clones in the process. What fleeting phantoms remain are written off as delusions, fantasies, or the work of traitorous mutant telepaths.

Because of the chaos involved, it has been hard for Internal Security to identify the mutant Communist traitors responsible for the Incident, although the hallucinogen was linked to the Zero_Teeth_Movement and the ROM_Sector PL&C Food Vats. Evidence that is at best circumstantial suggests, though, that this committee will discover a link between the Fluoride Incident and the Toothpaste Disaster.


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2013-06-13 13:57