Dursch-U-WTZ-9 Gives it all up and goes to have a drink
From the Desk of Dursch-U-WTZ-9
Greeting Friend Computer, and other clones of import reading this final report.
After being decanted and having the memories of my predecessor's lasts days imprinted, I spent a great deal of time going over the records assembled by this panel in order to draft a final report. I have now done so, and wish to be released to my normal duties.
No, this is my final report. My predecessor sat on the committe, I have reviewed the material. No, I do not have reached a conclusion. I was brought onto this committe because of my historical background, as evident in my seminal book Steve-U-STN-1 through -5: The Man, The Myth, The Machine. But history is something that happens after the fact, usually long after the fact. After reports like this have been made, burried, resurfaced and commented on. I mean, all that has been done here is to dig up dirt on people associated with the disaster and high programers who were involved in the committee.
What, even, was the Toothpaste Disaster? Will it remain called the Toothpaste Disaster days, weeks or years from now? I'll be incinerated if I know.
You want my advice? Don't worry about it. Vital support systems were disrupted. Clones died. Madness reigned. But the pieces have been picked up. Assign someone blame (may I recommend Flo-U-RID-3 as she's already dead? Or perhaps Jan-U-ARY-whatever her number is because she creeps me out?) and get on with your life. Or whatever. Cheer up. These things happen. Happiness is manditory, after all. I'm happy, Friend Computer. Are you?
Here, let me help...
Computer Prompt Activated
Computer Prompt Closed
There, now. Don't you feel better?
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