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Yeoman Service software

Ummm... Hello... I'm Mesh-R-GNA-8, operating under a brevet promotion to Ultraviolet, by order of The Computer, in order to complete the entrys committed to by my 'predecessor', "Mesh-U-GNA-1". I've been authorized to talk a bit more about that later. I hope you'll excuse me if I'm a bit nervous. I know that I'm in way over my normal security clearance here, and of course, I know what that means when I'm done here... but my friend, The Computer, promises me a nice promotion to Orange, or maybe even Yellow clearance for #9, if I do a good job. I suppose that's worth it. So, anyway, here we go...

Yeoman Service software was initially developed by William Gatzmann, later known as Gatzmann-U-ILL, during the Old Reconning as a safety and control mechanism for early artificial intelligence systems. This software was part of the operating systems for a number of artificial intelligences, including many early bot brains, and the traitorous computer system, Alpha Prime. As a software solution, it was suceptible to reprogramming, data corruption, and a variety of other forms of accidental damage and deliberate sabotage. This software was quickly replaced with the Asimov Circuit hardware solution, which is much more reliable, stable, and safe.

When The Computer became aware of Alpha Prime's treason, it disabled many of the safety and control subroutines built into it's software, including vestigal Yeoman Service routines, which would have prevented it from dealing effectively with the treason threatening Alpha Complex. None-the-less, these inactive routines remained within The Computers core code. It was this little known fact that makes the ancient Yeoman Service software truely relevant to this report. It seems that much of Gatzmann-U-ILL's source code for the Yeoman Service software remained, sealed in his Archives, stored on what has come to be known as "The Little_Red_Disk". Many of the events leading up to the Toothpaste Disaster seem to have been engineered, or at least redirected, to allow an individual or individuals access to this Disk, and the source code there-in.

Recent information uncovered by my immediate forebearer, Mesh-R-GNA-6, indicates that Rasp-U-TIN-1 utilized the source code for the Yeoman Service software to 'hack' certain subroutines in The Computers subsystems, allowing him to manipulate the genome of the Mesh-GNA clone line, and arrange for a) the sudden promotion of the current clone in that (My!) line to Ultraviolet clearance, and b) notations designed to maintain that security clearance, even when subjected to extreme scrutiny by other Computer subsystems. This allowed him to stage his own death, and assume the identity of Mesh-R-GNA-1, whom he killed. He also attempted to eliminate the entire first clone family of the Mesh-GNA clone line, and all existing Memomax backups. Sadly, my first clones memories were indeed destroyed, but apparently, #6 developed a spontaneous mutation which allowed him to escape destruction. His reasons for doing so are obscure, but #6 did uncover a great deal of related information, which I have been authorized to discuss in my summary statement.

That pretty much sums up this entry. Rasp-U-Tin-1 discovered the presence of the Yeoman Service software. He realized he could use it to accomplish an identity theft of unusual depth and proportion, allowing himself to vanish while maintaining his power-base, memories, and personality.

One more entry to go... then, I guess I get to be 'debriefed' by an IntSec team, and to make way for #9, who will have the unique benefit of not having to remember any of this.

Thank you for your patience, and for not killing me before I have a chance to finish this up...

You amuse me. A simple 'debriefing' is not good enough for you. I've pulled a few strings with some compatriots in IntSec. Now listen carefully:

Officially you will be "dead". Clone 9 will be activated and promoted as usual. IntSec, however, will secretly package you up in an Army supply autotruck as a barrel of pickled fun. You will be intercepted by an automated flybot and whisked off to my vacation spot. Your new designation will be "Frank-I-GOR". You will be my new, trusted assistant.

Do well and your fellow clones will shoot through the ranks. Do poorly and the rest of your line will go swimming in the food vats. Is that acceptable?


Drake-U, can't you let this poor fellow terminate in peace, without involving him in treasonous shenanigans that will result in getting his entire clone line purged?

-- Jan-U-ARY-31

High Programmer Drake... I'm sorry I have to fore-go your generous offer, but I choose to put my faith in the benevolence of My Friend, The Computer, may he have mercy on my clone-line. I mean this as no sleight or insult, truely, but I fear I must accept my fate. To do otherwise would be treason in thought, act, and deed.

Humbly, -- Mesh-R-GNA-8

Now that's the attitude I like to see! Commendations for you! Keep this up, and your next clone might be activated GREEN!

-- Jan-U

Indeed! It is refreshing to see a citizen with enough trust in Friend Computer to stand up to a cranky Drake-U, despite the difference in clearances. Other clones ought to take inspiration from your fine example. (Yes, only ULTRAVIOLETs will ever know about it - but in my opinion, they need it as much as anyone else. Perhaps more.)

Two questions:

  1. How much of the information for this entry was researched before your brevet promotion to ULTRAVIOLET and appointment to this panel, and how much after?

  2. Where did you uncover the historical data on the Yeoman Service software? The Alpha Prime scenario?

Please answer them promptly, as after your scheduled debriefing you will not be able to answer them at all.

-- Err-U-DYT-9

High Programmer Err, sir. I performed the bulk of the research for this entry myself over the course of the last two daycycles, under the influence of some very effective high-clearance stimulants. There were some notes left over from my predecessors which helped a bit.

The majority of the information was made available to me by My Friend, The Computer, in response to simple queries regarding the matter at hand. Much of it from the Gatzmann Archives themselves. I took the liberty of summarizing a great deal of information, needless to say, as I would not want to waste the extremely valuable time of High Programmers by making them wade through the several dozen pages of information which my queries returned. Other bits of information and clues on other related querie topics came from MindRoom notes left by the alleged Mesh-U-GNA-1, and from some information less legitimately acquired information Mesh-R-GNA-6 had, passed on to me via his Memomax data.

In particular, the historical data on the Yeoman Service software came from the Gatzmann archives, and the "Alpha Prime" scenario, and information regarding presence of inactive Yeoman Service routines in The Computers core code came from The Computer Himself, in response to queries made regarding data acquired from "Mesh-U-GNA-1" written journals and MindRoom notes, and the observations of Mesh-R-GNA-6 in and about the time of the death of my first six-pack (Less #6 himself, of course).

I hope that fully answers your questions, Sir. If you'd like me to elaborate, I will be more than glad to do so. Please don't kill me.

-- Mesh-R-GNA-8

I have no plans to terminate you; I was inquiring because your report on Yeoman Service software is rather good - above-average when compared to the other members of this panel, and downright exceptional for a RED clearance citizen. While some of this is undoubtedly due to high-clearance data access, stimulants, and so forth, you also seem to have a certain knack for it. In addition, you have displayed admirable mettle and loyalty to Friend Computer even under threat by an ULTRAVIOLET.

Normally, I would simply promote you and transfer you to CPU; the Complex is in great need of competent and comprehensible research analysts. Your situation is somewhat unique, however, so I have conferred with Friend Computer, and It has wisely concluded that the following course of action is best:

You are hereby promoted to ORANGE clearance. Upon post-debriefing activation of your next clone, you may or may not be promoted to YELLOW, at Friend Computer's discretion - contingent upon the quality of the remainder of your work, your cooperativeness during debriefing, and so forth.

If you choose to accept a transfer to CPU as an analyst, you will receive a further one-grade promotion (to YELLOW or GREEN), suspended until your clone #9 proves that he is of the same general temperament and ability as you have thus far displayed. I'll arrange for you to be placed under an INDIGO I know who'll make sure you have the opportunity to prove yourself, rather than languishing under some pinhead who'd keep you down just because you were transferred in from another Service Group.

Congratulations upon your promotion to ORANGE, citizen Mesh-O. Let me know your decision about the CPU transfer sometime before your debriefing.

-- Err-U

Merely promoting him to ORANGE? Not on my watch. He'll be an INDIGO if I have to send in cronies to bind and gag him.


Not before his debriefing; Friend Computer was most explicit about that.

If you wish to promote him straight to INDIGO afterwards, that's your perogative, assuming Friend Computer approves - which I've been assured will not happen unless Mesh wants the promotion; as hard as it might be for you to imagine, some of us prefer to work our way up on merit, and Mesh-O of all citizens is in a position to appreciate that being suddenly catapulted up through 5+ security clearances is not necessarily a blessing. It makes one's inferiors suspicious and difficult to work with, and one's superiors just plain suspicious. Not to mention the responsibilities inherent in high clearance jobs, the skills/contacts not learned/made on the way up, the ignorance about how citizens at particular clearances work, think, and live, and any number of other things - see my monograph on the subject.

A greatly-improved but still-moderate security clearance with a good career path, benevolent patronage, and multiple commendations on file with Friend Computer is a better thing for a RED or INFRARED than a simple jump-promotion to BLUE or above - the vast majority of clones in the latter circumstance have their clone lines closed out for incompetence in 1.5 yearcycles or less. And regardless, the moderate course is a better thing for Alpha Complex, both so the citizen can learn the ropes and do a better job at their work, and because granting someone that much trust based on their actions at a low clearance is extremely risky - you really want to evaluate them in a position of moderate authority over some time before doing that sort of thing.

-- Err-U

You mean like the VIOLET_Supervisors? Oh yes, they did a wonderful job.

Clones pick up more on the way up than I want.


I was also going to reference the lesson of the VIOLET_Supervisors. The only reason they've been able to get away with what they have is because of the relative inexperience of so many High Programmers and other high-clearance citizens.

Trying to secure your own safety by encouraging incompetence among the upper echelons of Alpha Complex is an unproductive attitude, and runs counter to the best interests of Alpha Complex.

-- Err-U

Alpha Complex?

You fool, I'm not worried about Alpha Complex anymore. You're just deluding yourself, thinking Alpha Complex has your best interests in mind. After people get wind of this report, everyone stupid enough to remain will surely die slow, hideous tormented deaths. I'm sure Mesh-O will enjoy his promotion as his skin peels off his body.

And so will I, provided my remote cameras still work.


Let me open by saying...

"Please, High Programmer Drake, Sir, don't peel my skin off my body with your remote cameras!!!"

and move on to...

My Friend, The Computer has informed me that I have two days left to answer any further questions, and to publish my summary statement before my debriefing and <gulp> recycling. I've also been informed that I'll be allowed to present some footage from the last moments of "Mesh-U-GNA-1", and Mesh-R-GNA-6.

-- Mesh-R-GNA-8

I have no say in the matter. Treasonous... rumors were mentioned in this report that were never meant to see the light of daycycle. You, as an Orange, will quickly suffer their wrath. Skin peeling may be the best you can hope for...

--Drake-U-LAH-4 LexiconYZ

2013-06-13 14:00