HIGH PROGRAMMER DOSSIERS
SECURITY CLEARANCE GAMMA
BRUSH-U-TTH-33 (Jared A. Sorensen)
Secret Society Affiliation(s):
Mutation(s):
Additional Information:
CEE-U-LTR-5 (David Siegel)
Secret Society Affiliation(s):
Mutation(s):
Additional Information:
CIRC-U-LAT-23 (Greg Ingber)
Secret Society Affiliation(s):
Mutation(s):
Additional Information:
COSTIN-U-MOR-8 (Paul Baldowski)
Secret Society Affiliation(s):
Mutation(s):
Additional Information:
DON-U-DON-11 (Rob MacDougall)
Secret Society Affiliation(s):
Mutation(s):
Additional Information:
DRAKE-U-LAH-1 (Jeff Groves)
Secret Society Affiliation(s): Romantics, Mystics
Mutation(s): Regeneration Strain IX (rebuilds tissue from clonal organic material, such as blood)
Additional Information:
Drake-U-LAH was a born & bred PLCer, contrary to accusations of being a former IntSec agent.
The constant annoyance of these "stupid nitwitted twits" made him bitter and cranky. His creative
executions of twits rocketed him up through the ranks.
He believed that some unknown superior supported his cruelty. His theory on the GAMMA clearance
was detailed in the document released on Unspeakable Treason. His contacts in the Romantics
helped him study ancient occult texts and rituals in an effort to join the GAMMAs. His curiousity
about the Manifesto Out of Space and Time drove him insane. Drake-U-LAH-1 is still on the lam.
Drake-U-LAH-2 died trying to save Sue-R-RAT from the GAMMAs. Drake-U-LAH-3 committed suicide after
receiving Drake-U-LAH-2's Memomax, leaving one angry Drake-U-LAH-4. Drake-U-LAH-4 has erased the
rest of his clone line and escaped from Alpha Complex to avoid the wrath of the GAMMAs. Official
Computer records state that he is on "indefinite vacation".
DURSCH-U-WTZ-8 (Robert Rodger)
Secret Society Affiliation(s): Mystics, Sierra Club
Mutation(s): Machine-Empathy (poor, poor computer)
Additional Information: At some point every Service Group has employed one of the
Dursch- clones. None of them ever seemed to find the right nitch.
ENKID-U-RUK-4 (Topi Makkonen)
Secret Society Affiliation(s):
Mutation(s):
Additional Information:
ERR-U-DYT-9 (R. Eric Reuss)
Secret Society Affiliation(s): FCCCP. If you'd like, you can read Err-U's Final Sermon;
it's linked to in the metagame notes at the top of his Final Report page.
Mutation(s): Bureaucratic Intuition. Not that he knew that - he just thought everybody
else was kind of slow.
Additional Information:
Err-U was a sanctimonious, pedantic clone who believed firmly in the Computer's divinity,
the fundamental goodness of Alpha Complex society, and the general stupidity of clonedom.
Other ULTRAVIOLETs tended to receive the brunt of his contempt simply because he felt
they ought to be able to do better than they did, and ought to be more loyal than they
were.
He was quite good at his job, which got him repeatedly promoted, and quite honest,
which got him repeatedly terminated (pre-game, not during). He did actually have a
sense of humor, albeit quite a dry one. He couldn't have cared less about going after
other High Programmers for power, money, influence, or fun, but would happily lay into
them for accidentally misquoting an obscure bit of irrelevant data. Treason and sloppy
research both pissed him off greatly.
His ability to peruse Friend Computer's subroutines while simultaneously believing
firmly in Friend Computer's infallible divinity was a textbook example of doublethink.
All in all, much more a Straight character then a Classic one.
JAN-U-ARY-31 (Eric Minton)
Secret Society Affiliation(s): Internal Security, Free Enterprise, Voodoo Economists,
Jan-U-ARY Friends
Mutation(s): Machine Empathy, Macular Degeneration V, Metastasizing Tumors, Flesh What
Rots Off The Bone IX
Additional Information:
Despite her mental infirmities, Jan-U-ARY-31 is intensely loyal to the ideals of Alpha
Complex. As far as shes concerned, though, these ideals include the economy functions
best when everyone is striving to get the most money at all costs and the hierarchy
functions best when you take a personal interest in promoting talented subordinates.
Her dedication to unfettered capitalism led to her deep-rooted involvement in the
founding of Free Enterprise and the Voodoo Economists; her dedication to unfettered
nepotism led to the formation of Jan-U-ARY Friends, the oldest and most successful of the
so-called Programs Groups, those secret societies dedicated to serving individual High
Programmers.
Due to her advanced age, legacy issues with her GeneScan Image, and radiation damage
inflicted by Omega-U, Jan-U-ARY-31s genetic structure is a total mess. The reason shes
a brain in a jar is that everything but her nervous system basically rots away during the
cloning process. Whats left of her brain is rotten and senile, but her cybernetic
interfaces contain memory and logic subroutines to compensate. Her remaining organic
parts will decay over the next few years, leaving nothing but the machine: a new node in
Friend Computers distributed systems. She will have immortality as one of the countless
voices whispering in the Computers fragmented mind; she will not be the first to achieve
this state, nor will she be the last.
KEN-U-RON-6-8 (Scott Johnson)
Secret Society Affiliation(s): Free Enterprise
Mutation(s): X-Ray Vision (not particularly relevant)
Additional Information:
All instances of Ken-U-RON were heavily involved in manipulation of the power generation
and transmission markets, mostly for their own profit. The repeated failures of RON sector
power service firms were ploys to cover his tracks and shunt their profits into his pockets.
Ken-U-RON-6 was driven mad by the fragments of the Manifesto Out of Space and Time he was able
to study -- the secondhand bits of an already corrupt Viral Thought Pattern created a very
unstable psyche. This manifested first as a focus on irrelevant trivia, then as a complete
disorientation. He wandered into the sewers and has not been seen since.
Ken-U-RON-7 discovered the existence of sentient Viral Thought Patterns, but conflated them
somewhat with GAMMA Clearance, a connection that lacks evidence. In response, Viral Strains
#07 and #38 replicated themselves among his staff and led him to destroy himself and his
villa to 'protect' himself. (It didn't help that third-hand exposure to the MOST had given
him a touch of... well, PARANOIA.)
Ken-U-RON-8 was compromised from the moment of activation by Viral Strain #22. (q.v. the
hidden comments in his entry on Zapster.) He proceeded to engage in some damage control
to discredit his previous clones.
KILL-U-DED-4 (PaulTevis)
Secret Society Affiliation(s):
Mutation(s):
Additional Information:
KNOK-U-OUT-5 through 12 (Dan Curtis Johnson)
Secret Society Affiliation(s): (5) Free Enterprise, Sierra Club, Mystics, Voodoo Economists
(6) Free Enterprise, Romantics, Mystics
(7) Free Enterprise, Death Leopard, OUS Sector Cabal, Computer Phreaks
(8) Killed before any opportunity arose (as were 11 and 12)
(9) Sierra Club
(10) None... yet.
Mutation(s): Hypersenses
Additional Information:
* "Five" faked his own death, had himself a surprising epiphany, and is
currently in the process of writing a heart-rending letter to Friend
Computer from a small utopian society Somewhere Else.
* "Six" never really wanted anything more than to collect stuff, while
getting alternately high and laid. He was not in on the VIOLET Supervisors
conspiracy, nor did the Voodoo Economists see fit to initiate him on his
promotion. He really did get his blood sucked out by Drake-U-LAH-1.
* "Seven" hooked up with the OUS Sector Cabal and went entirely feral with
his newfound power-- so much so that "Five" eventually had him taken out.
* "Eight" died on the Vulture Range. (So did "Eleven" and "Twelve".)
* "Nine" used the many hundreds of thousands of credits sent to "Seven" by
various fellow Toothpaste Disaster panelists (trying to buy evidence on
each other) to purchase escape to the Outdoors from the Sierra Club. He is
currently trying to make his way to Five's utopian society, having many
adventures along the way, accompanied no doubt by an Elf, a Dwarf, a
Wizard, and a Halfling thief.
* "Ten" was caught attempting escape to the Outdoors. He has been returned to
Alpha Complex, demoted to RED Clearance, and instated as a standard PLC
Troubleshooter. Today is the first day of the rest of his life.
* Pepe the ProxyBot has been making a small fortune on the talk-vid circuit
and is going to be the host of a new game show called "Cause and Effect"
that HPD&MC expects will be next year's Big Hit.
MAKE-U-CRY-2 (Andy Fitzpatrick)
Secret Society Affiliation(s):
Mutation(s):
Additional Information:
MESH-U-GNA-1 (Ben Engelsberg)
Secret Society Affiliation(s):
Illuminati - infiltrating FCCCP, Computer Phreaks (Rasp-U-Tin-1/Mesh-U-GNA-1);
FCCCP (Actual Mesh-GNA clone line).
Mutation(s):
Machine Empathy, Empathy(Rasp-U-Tin-1/Mesh-U-GNA-1);
Teleportation, induced by mutagens (Mesh-R-GNA-6);
Uncanny Luck (Actual Mesh-GNA clone line)
Additional Information: Working on this...
OMEGA-U-MAN-5 to 1337 (Matt Venzke)
Secret Society Affiliation(s): None. (Primarily Illuminati, has infiltrated all other SSs.)
Mutation(s): None. (All.)
Additional Information: #5 is the currently active clone, the rest were all fakes. His treasonous
dopplegangers managed to install TacNukes and other devices in absolutely every other sector, all
of which are still controlled by #5's terminal, and none of them can be removed without considerable
effort and help from #5. He doesn't think that that's worthwhile since he is positively loyal and
would never abuse those devices. He insists that they pose no threat, as is the only one who can
control them now, barring sabotage by Commie Mutant Traitors, of course. Rumors that he planned all
of this to gain leverage over the other High Programmers are positively treasonous.
Of course, rumors that he just somehow got lucky, or that there really aren't as many TacNukes as he
claimed, or even that whoever really was running the conspiracy bungled the requisition for the
TacNukes, leaving piles of mis-assembled rubbish instead of explosives behind are every bit as
treasonous. No one will really be sure just how many of them actually work, not even Omega-U,
until they're detonated. And even then, no one can really be sure it wasn't commies doing it, as
part of some unrelated incident...
PAUL-U-LEG-5 through 9 (Mark Kinney)
Secret Society Affiliation(s): None (FCCCP (Who would have guessed?))
Mutation(s): None (Pyrokinesis)
Additional Information: (Probably "enhanced" his various projects' "accidents" to
cover his lack of knowledge of real science, as well as using this to obtain funding
for the "new version that won't to that stuff.")
SCREWZ-U-BAD-3 (John Spann)
Secret Society Affiliation(s): Pro Tech
Mutation(s): Had a few, in fact.
Additional Information: Everyone kept listing me as CPU. I wasn't going to disabuse them
of the notion. Actually, I was R&D. Errors are treason, citizens. You should have asked
me outright. :) I wish there had been a "Third Party Combat Resolution" Section. Wherein
HP's list a specific amount of forces for committing to a single section, or that we
listed our resources before hand. Who ever runs out, or stops being creative...
Ah, well. It was still fun.
SERVS-U-RIT-7 (Josh Moretto)
Secret Society Affiliation(s):
Mutation(s):
Additional Information:
TOOTHY-U-NIX-4 (Paul Jacobs)
Secret Society Affiliation(s):
Pro Tech
Mutation(s):
Empathy
Additional Information:
Toothy lives and breathes R&D. It is his soul. Gadgets and Innovations are the Way to the Future.
WATT-U-GOT-9 (Karl Low)
Secret Society Affiliation(s): Pro-Tech
Mutation(s): Machine Empathy
Additional Information: Clone line terminated due to information provided by Syntelligent Systems
immediately after collating a report on same. Report suppressed and deleted as unreliable due to
the treasonous nature of the submitter.
By all appearances, Watt-U was little more than he seemed. A blackmailer by trade, machine sympathizer
(and empathizer) by night. Probably wound up getting cocky over time, which led to his downfall.
