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Fictional Troubleshooter Clearance is possibly the single most troublesome troublesome concept to arise from the brains of HPD&MC's marketing wizards. Simply put, it is a security clearance status according a fictional Troubleshooter (not, as it is treasonously rumored, a fictional clearance level in and of itself). In other words, it is the clearance of a character, as opposed to a real citizen. In and of itself, this is not necessarily a problematic concept. Such vidprogram stars as Bo-G and Teela-O have often portrayed characters of clearances other than their own. Where the trouble arises, simply put, is when a character becomes so iconic that citizens, even those of high clearances (although obviously never Ultraviolets) become confused as to just what the actor portraying the role is cleared to do/see/know/own, due to an inability to distinguish between the fiction and reality. The most prominent case of this in recent events, of course, was the dispatch of Al-B-GUD to VED sector in the wake of the first reports of the Toothpaste_Disaster. "Al-B" promptly vanished, cause unknown, but analysis of the Zapr-U-DER_Film suggests that the actor portraying the Al-B-GUD persona at the time (actually an Orange clearance citizen, it seems), became embroiled in some dispute with Vulture_Squadron_Bravo_9 over his right to make use of a Blue laser barrel on his pistol. Unfortunately, the focus of the Film is not on this incident, which merely takes place in the background of the frame, and the ultimate result of this imbroglio remains a mystery. We can make some assumptions, however. Namely, that the dispute betwen "Al-B" and the Vulture Squadron occupied vital Computer resources in the middle of a crisis, and that while the blame for this incident rests squarely on the shoulders of Evere-V-ENS-6 for dispatching an actor to a crisis site in violation of his proper clearance, some blame must fall on the entire system of FTCs which engendered that confusion.

Refs: Al-B-GUD, Evere-V-ENS-6, Toothpaste_Disaster, Vulture_Squadron_Bravo_9, Zapr-U-DER_Film

-- Servs-U-RIT-7

Once again, Servs-U wants to blame the media, by pinning the Al-B-GUD incident on HPD&MC’s Fictional Protocols. Of course it's regrettable when a beloved mascot of Alpha Complex’s youth is slaughtered by heavy automatic slugthrower fire in full view of hundreds of horrified young clones. It's always regrettable when that happens. But that is no reason to impugn the Fictional Troubleshooter Clearance system or the abilities of a talented supervisor like Evere-V-ENS-6.

All fictional security clearances used by HPD&MC are clearly designated by the use of quotation marks, and, in verbal speech, the quotation-mark finger gesture. If some trigger happy Army goons can’t tell a “BLUE” laser barrel from a BLUE laser barrel, well, I blame Communism. Forensic analysis clearly indicates that Al-“B”-GUD was attempting to clarify his status to the Vulture Squadron through a series of approved finger gestures at the moment of his demise.

(Psst: I’ll deny ever saying this, of course, but the real problem with fictional Troubleshooters isn’t that clones can’t tell vid programs from reality. It’s that Friend Computer can’t. Who do you think ordered Al-B-GUD to VED sector? The Computer is, after all, the most avid consumer of HPD&MC’s vid programming there is. (You don’t think any citizens are actually watching Norton-V: Anti-Virus Protector, do you?) And the Computer is picky too. I remember we once received a Top Level Plot Override Directive to have Teela-O and Bo-G “get together,” whatever that means. But then when we tried to comply with the order, Friend Computer said we had jumped over some kind of aquatic lifeform and purged half our creative personnel.)

-- Don-U-DON-11


2013-06-13 13:57