Its common knowledge (amongst those that have the necessary security clearance) that the commies are determined to pollute the water supply of Alpha Complex. The culmination of this depraved plan was to contaminate the precious bodily fluids of every Alphian and turn every citizen into a commie mutant traitor. Clearly, something needed to be done.
Armed with chlorine dioxide steam-jet pistols, the APE team were sent into to take charge of vulnerable areas such as food vats, canteens and comfort stations. Loyal citizens were happy to have their meals sprayed to ensure them against commie infiltration and the resulting Infrared rioting was normal for the time of yearcycle. The new B3 Now with added Chlorine! was an instant success, helped by the new advertising campaign and APE roaming taste-testing units.
Positive as these measures were, they only scratched at the surface of the problem. Impure fluid intake was up a shocking 31.256%. To truly ensure the purity of Alpha Complex, we needed to take the fight underground. Wanting to avoid the shameful mess that was Project_Infinite_Hole, I set R&D about to come up with a solution that didnt entail removing the floor from beneath the Complex. Project_Finite_Hole was born.
Unfortunately, not all went well. R&Ds use of UV filtration to purify the water meant that only 0.14% of the sector actually had the sufficient security clearance to drink anything. The team leader on the project, Sali-V-ATE-4, was executed for sabotage and the focus switched back to the APE team as the only remaining hope in the battle against impure fluids. Then, of course, there was the Fluoride_Incident and everything changed.
-- MAKE-U-CRY-2
Commentary:
When Make-U-CRY-2 extols the utility of the APE project, he fails to mention the immense disruption caused by the bleaching and dyeing effects of chlorine. Has anybody calculated the number of clones we've had to terminate in the last yearcycle because their food turned to GREEN or ULTRAVIOLET clearance from chlorine exposure? It's a disgrace.
-- Jan-U-ARY-31
It has a simple solution: simply douse the food with the proper-colored dye. Now if you'll excuse me, I have some calls to make.